🛡️ 49 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (30–31 May)

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Hi DILFs!

When I last wrote about the David Bowie screening/exhibition thing at Lightroom, I hadn’t visited myself. It sounded fantastic, though, so I popped along last weekend with two other grown-ups and three children (aged 8, 8 and 3). (Oh the adults? We were were aged 48, 43 and 41.)

It was bloomin’ brilliant. None of us were particularly die-hard Bowie fans, but I think we are now.

Lightroom is a huge room with floor-to-ceiling screens surrounding you – and for this Bowie exhibition, they showed live performances, interviews, and bits from Bowie’s notebooks and recordings. It’s all organised around themes rather than chronologically, which is most obvious from how his teeth go back and forth between “British gnashers” and “expensively curated pearly whites”. 

Some of Bowie’s interviews were properly funny: this was not a man who sat opposite a talk show host and recounted tedious anecdotes about a childhood pet rabbit. He could be rude and scathing, but in a charming way that made the audience love him for his chutzpah. 

The biggest delight, though, was the live material. You get to see entire performances of some of his biggest hits, and I don’t think it could feel any closer to being there than actually being there. The performances were – and I don’t know if I’ve ever used this word before – spellbinding. 

I’d assumed our kids would lark about, run around and find it all entertaining enough without knowing why, but they were (for the most part) mesmerised. I don’t think I spotted another child throughout our time at the venue; and in fact, I’m pretty sure we parents were the youngest adults there too. But it’s such a missed opportunity – so do go along and take the kids if you fancy it. It’s an easy hour of parenting, and gives you tons to talk about after. 

If you’re more of a Napalm Death kind of family, I’m afraid I don’t have any grindcore event recommendations for you this weekend, but perhaps you’ll be interested in some of the other stuff going on… 

Enjoy! 

Jeff xx

PS The direct link to the LIghtroom Bowie thing is here: https://lightroom.uk/whats-on/david-bowie-youre-not-alone 

1: Handle helmets and interrogate armour experts

Hands on Armour: Saturday Knight Live
Saturday 30 May, 13:30–14:00 and 15:30–16:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE – first come, first served
Age guidance: 5+

Before it became a museum, the Wallace Collection was just that: a vast private collection of paintings, furniture and porcelain, built up by generations of aristocrats with a weakness for 18th-century French art and the money to make it happen. The real star was Sir Richard Wallace, illegitimate (but fully funded) son of the 4th Marquess of Hertford, who inherited the lot and installed it in Hertford House – this central London townhouse. After he died, his wife left it all to the nation.

Usefully, if members of your family aren't into Rococo furniture, Sèvres porcelain and Fragonards, the house also comes with a an overstocked armoury. The Marquesses of Hertford had a full-blown obsession with the arsenals of other aristocrats, and Sir Richard Wallace contributed heavily to the problem by purchasing a French nobleman’s collection and adding it to the pile.

The armoury is always available to view, but this Saturday, Saturday Knight Live brings it all to life with a title that deserves a fist bump. Kids can try on real and replica armour, watch live demonstrations, make their own paper paladin (that’s a knight, made of paper), and quiz the Wallace Collection’s resident armour experts in a live Q&A.

Find out more: https://www.wallacecollection.org/whats-on/events/hands-on-armour-saturday-knight-live-7/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ There’s a new exhibition of Winston Churchill’s paintings at Wallace Collection, which I wrote about last week. I haven’t been yet, but I’m planning to do so very soon because it looks brilliant. 

👍️ There’s also a free exhibition at the same venue, called The Wallace Collection at War. 

2: Experience a snowstorm powered by trampolines and aerial stunts

Blizzard
27–31 May, 14:30 and/or 19:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£18–£40 per person (+£4 booking fee)
Age guidance: 6+

When I write up events for Dads in London, I usually end up doing quite a lot of research beyond whatever’s on the venue website. Which is fine and fair enough. What’s less fair is charging people up to £40 a ticket while describing the show in language that sounds like an Icelandic concept album about grief. NOT helpful, guys. 

So, after a fair amount of digging, here’s what Blizzard actually appears to be:

It’s basically a contemporary circus show that imagines what it would be like if winter were permanent. We’re talking “human catastrophe” permanent winter here, rather than the sort involving a day off school and lots of soggy carrots in the garden by the following afternoon.

A permanent winter might involve emergency radio broadcasts, howling wind and snow shovels, but because this is a circus show, everybody processes the emotional reality by throwing themselves through the air at dangerous speeds and making surprisingly heavy use of hula hoops.

The Quebec-based company FLIP Fabrique mixes aerial dance, trampoline routines, acrobatics and live music with a running thread about extreme cold and the weird behaviour it produces. So alongside the genuinely beautiful stuff – people spinning through the air on ropes, enormous group acrobatics and slow-motion snowy dream sequences – there are also fake public-safety announcements, elaborate cold-weather survival routines and increasingly stupid jokes about thermal clothing.

There’s a live musician onstage throughout, rolling around on a wheeled piano while performers leap over him, under him and occasionally use the piano as part of the act. There’s also a massive moving cube that seems to exist largely so that acrobats can throw themselves off it at alarming speeds.

At one point, apparently, somebody hula-hoops in a Hawaiian skirt on top of a piano. Cabin fever clearly hits hard in Quebec.

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/blizzard 

While you’re there… 

👍️ If you’re going to see Blizzard on Saturday, you might be able to attend Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow before or after. See below for more info. 

👍️ There’s also The Maker on Saturday and Sunday: a stage show that explores “a world full of visual surprises, physical comedy and strange magical experiments that teeter between brilliance and disaster”. 

👉 Brief interruption in a horrible colour: if this newsletter has earned its keep, you can buy me a coffee. (Completely optional, of course.)

3: Dance through a glitter-covered daytime rave for children

Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow
Saturday 30 May, 11:30–13:30 and 14:30–16:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required
Age guidance: 2+

Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow is a name that conveys exactly what kind of show you’ll be attending, and for that reason I love it. I also love how fun it is to say, so I’ll be writing it (and saying it out loud as I do so) as many times as I can in the following few paragraphs.  

Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow is basically a big daytime party where you’ll learn easy dance routines, watch DJs treat a room full of six-year-olds like a 2am Ibiza set, and see professional dancers and circus performers do things that would hospitalise me instantly. I’ve seen a promo video, and it’s as camp and glittery as it sounds, with enough gymnastics ribbons to redecorate an entire Eurovision green room. 

I was expecting that Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow would be a bit spendy to attend, but nope: it’s 100% free. And you don’t even need to book tickets – which means Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow is going to be all kinds of mayhem. 

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/dancedancediscopartyfunshow/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Prancer the Dancer’s DanceDanceDiscoPartyFunShow is free, so if you’re feeling itchy to spend some money, you could blow it on tickets to Blizzard at the Southbank Centre (see review above). 

👍️ There’s also The Maker on Saturday and Sunday: a stage show that explores “a world full of visual surprises, physical comedy and strange magical experiments that teeter between brilliance and disaster”. 

4: Follow a time-travelling boy through the year 2075

Family Film Club: Arco
Saturday 30 May, 11:00
Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £5, under-18s £2.50
Age guidance: 7+

I took my boys to the Barbican the other weekend, to see a “cut-paper animation” from France called The Songbird’s Secret. It was followed by a mini-documentary about how it was made, and it was wonderful – I highly recommend streaming/downloading it if you can. 

What I don’t recommend is watching The Songbird’s Secret with children unless you can find a dubbed version or they’re old enough to read subtitles. At the Barbican, we had this “system” whereby kids wore headphones and a guy would read the subtitles aloud LIVE through the headphones. It was all jolly fun when it was being set up: the man would make funny animal noises to make sure everyone could hear him. But then the film started, and all the little ones started complaining almost immediately about achy ears. And every time a child moved even slightly, their eardrums would fill with loud crackly radio static and they’d go “ARRRRRRGGGGHHH”. 

This weekend’s family film at the Barbican is also in French, but thankfully, it’s dubbed: voices include Mark Ruffalo, Natalie Portman, Will Ferrell, Andy Samberg and Michael Peter Balzary (AKA Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers). Arco is a hand-drawn sci-fi animation about a boy from the year 2932 – a peaceful distant future where humans use rainbow-coloured capes to travel through time. During his first attempt at flying, he loses control and crash-lands in 2075 – when Earth is dealing with climate collapse, environmental damage, and lots of emotionally absent adults communicating via hologram. 

A lonely girl called Iris finds him and hides him in her home while trying to help him get back to his own time. Along the way, they become friends, dodge suspicious adults, deal with an approaching wildfire, hang around with Iris’s robot nanny, and gradually realise that Arco’s future might represent hope for humanity rather than total doom. 

SO much more manages to take place in this 89-minute film, and I’m not even sure I understand it when reading a simplified Wikipedia summary. Still, the Tomatometer is glowing across the board – a rare moment of agreement between critics and normal people these days – so perhaps I’m not supposed to fully understand the rainbow-cape time-travel economy anyway. 

Find out more: https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2026/event/family-film-club-arco 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Take a look at Origo: the gigantic earth structure in the Barbican Sculpture Court, which uses 30 tonnes of soil, clay, hay, seeds and spices. It’s 24 metres wide and you can walk through narrow tunnels inside it, sit in the middle for a bit, and smell a lot of cinnamon and cloves. I wrote about it in last week’s newsletter. 

5: Experience the nation’s most aggressively exciting science lesson

Mark Thompson’s Spectacular Science Show
Saturday 30 May, 15:30
Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX
Adults £25.30, children £20.70
Age guidance: 5+

Does anyone else think Mark Thompson should have changed his name before becoming a stage-performing astronomer? He could have been Captain Cosmos, or Jupiter Jones, or Dr Sparklebeard or something. Mark Thompson is the sort of name you’d give to a media executive from Hertfordshire (oh look!), or a politician from somewhere like Arizona, or Minnesota, or Iowa, perhaps (oh look again!). 

Anyway. Surprise surprise, the description on the venue’s website doesn’t explain who Mark Thompson is – so I’ll explain for you because it’s not like he’s just another of the world’s boring Mark Thompsons. 

He was one of the presenting team for the BBC’s Stargazing Live, where he “guided viewers around the night sky”, and he has a podcast called Cosmic Commerce, where he investigates all aspects of the space sector. He also speaks at the Royal Astronomical Society about astronomy stuff, and he’s published books called Stargazing and A Down to Earth Guide to the Cosmos – the latter of which could do with some hyphens, but I’ll let it slide because he’s probably forgotten more about astronomy than I’ll ever know.

He developed the Spectacular Science Show 11 years ago, and he’s still touring it up and down the country today. 

The basic format appears to be: Mark Thompson blows things up, sets things on fire and launches miniature rockets around the stage while explaining the science behind it all in a way children can actually follow. There are balloon explosions, frequency hearing tests, audience participation and enough flames to make at least one reviewer’s six-year-old spend the following week demanding dangerous home recreations.

All this sounds significantly cooler than anything I’d expect from a man called Mark Thompson. 

Find out more: https://www.leicestersquaretheatre.com/show/mark-thompsons-spectacular-science-show 

Other listings

This section brings together both new events I don’t have room to expand on and selected older ones from past newsletters that are still running. If you see a “(see my write-up here)”, that’s your cue to click through and rediscover whatever Past Me felt strongly enough to write about.

There’s a Monster In Your Show
27–30 May, 11:00 and/or 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£15 per person
Age guidance: 2+

SHELF: The Kids Show 2 – The Power of Two
Sunday 31 May, 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£13.75 per person
Age guidance: 5+

Baby Gospel at Big Penny Social
Sunday 31 May, 11:00
Big Penny Social, 1 Priestley Way, E17 6AL
£14.50 per person
Age guidance: suitable for all 

Funny Business: Fraser Hooper
Sunday 31 May, 11:00 and 14:00
Jacksons Lane Arts Centre, 269a Archway Road, N6 5AA
£10–£12.50 per person
Age guidance: 3+

Winston Churchill: The Painter (see my write-up here)
Daily until 29 November, 10:00–17:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
Adults £18, 12–17s £6, under-12s free

Origo: Delcy Morelos (see my write-up here)
Daily until 31 July, check website for opening times
Sculpture Court, Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
FREE

Holy Pop! (see my write-up here)
Daily until 9 August, various timeslots throughout each day
Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA
Pay what you can

Museum of Illusions (see my write-up here)
Open daily, permanently, 10:00–19:00 or 20:00 depending on the day
Museum of Illusions, 15–17 Tottenham Court Road, W1T 1BJ
Adults (15+) £29, 5–14s £24, under-5s free
Age guidance: suitable for all

Luminarium: LUXART by Architects of Air
Until Sunday 31 May, various start times each day
Power Station Park, Battersea Power Station, Riverside Walk, SW11 8EZ
£10 per person

A Line Florist by Anna Bruder
Until Sunday 31 May, various start times each day
Battersea Power Station, SW11 8EZ
£10 per person

Splats and Spindles: Six English Regional Chairs
Tuesdays–Sundays, 10:00–17:00
Museum of the Home, 136 Kingsland Road, E2 8EA
Free – no booking required

Elizabeth I: Queen & Court
Until 10 July, weekdays 09:30–18:00
Philip Mould & Company, 18–19 Pall Mall, SW1Y 5LU
Free – no booking required

James McNeill Whistler
Until 27 September, various timeslots throughout each day
Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG
Adults £24, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

Eye Spy
Until Sunday 31 May, 10:30–13:00 and 14:00–16:00 each day
London Museum Docklands, No. 1 Warehouse, West India Quay, E14 4AL
Free – no booking required
Age guidance: 3+

Jurassic Oceans: Monsters of the Deep
Until 3 January 2027, timeslots between 10:00 and 16:30
Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD
Adults £17.50, 4–17s £8.75, under-4s free
Age guidance: 8+

Bubble Explorers
Until Friday 23 October, various timeslots each day
Science Museum, Exhibition Road, SW7 2DD
£4.50 per person (under-2s free)
Age guidance: 7 and under

The Rapping Princess
Until 21 June, various start times each day
Polka Theatre, 240 The Broadway, SW19 1SB
£11 per person
Age guidance: 3–6

The Flying Bath
Until 12 July, various start times each day
Little Angel Theatre, 14 Dagmar Passage, N1 2DN
Adults £15.50, 1–17s £13.50
Age guidance: 2–5

Toto the Ninja Cat and the Great Snake Escape
Until 19 July, various start times each day
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
Adults £15.50, 1–17s £13.50
Age guidance: 5+

The Ugly Duckling
Puppet Theatre Barge, Blomfield Road (opposite 35), W9 2PF
Until 31 May, various start times
Adults £15, 2–16s £12
Age guidance: 4–10

Skate 50 (see my write-up here)
Various dates until 21 June, various timeslots
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Pay what you can: £0–£10 (free for skateboarders)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Zurbarán (see my write-up here)
Daily until 23 August, 10:00–18:00 (Fridays until 21:00)
The National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN
£20–£22 (off-peak/peak), under-18s free

NIGO: From Japan with Love
Daily until 4 October, 10:00–17:00 Monday–Thursday and 10:00–18:00 Friday–Sunday
Design Museum, 224–238 Kensington High Street, W8 6AG
Adults £19, 6–17s £10, under-6s free

Tortoise and the Hare
Various dates until 31 May, various start times
Polka Theatre, 240 The Broadway, SW19 1SB
£10 per person
Age guidance: 3–7

Paulo Nimer Pjota: Encantados
Wednesday–Sunday until 23 August, 12:00–18:00 (Wednesdays until 21:00)
South London Gallery, 65–67 Peckham Road, SE5 8UH
FREE – no booking required

David Bowie: You're Not Alone (see my write-up here)
Until 10 September (most days), 10:30–16:30 or 17:30 depending on the day
Lightroom, 12 Lewis Cubitt Square, N1C 4DY
Adults £29.50, 3–18s £19.50, under-3s free (family discounts available at certain times of day)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Early Netherlandish drawings (see my write-up here)
Daily until 20 September, 10:00–17:00 (until 20:30 on Fridays)
British Museum, Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG
FREE

Paint! Pattern! Print! The Textiles of Susan Collier and Sarah Campbell (see my write-up here)
Tuesday–Saturday until 13 September, 11:00–18:00
Fashion and Textile Museum, 83 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3XF
Adults £11.50, 12–17s £9.50, under-12s free

The Wallace Collection at War
Daily until 25 October, 10:00–17:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE

Konrad Mägi
Tuesday–Sunday until 12 July, 10:00–17:00
Dulwich Picture Gallery, College Road, SE21 7AD
Adults £18, under-18s free

The Coming of Age
Tuesday–Sunday until 29 November
Wellcome Collection, 183 Euston Road, NW1 2BE
FREE

The Last Princess of Punjab
Daily until 8 November, 10:00–18:00
Kensington Palace, Kensington Gardens, W8 4PX
Free with admission (adults £24.70, 5–17s £12.40, under-5s free)

Mundo Pixar Experience (see my write-up here)
Until 28 June, 09:00/10:00–20:00 (earlier start time on weekends)
Fulton Road, Wembley, HA9 0TF
Adults £34–£36, 2–15s £22–£24, under-2s free
Age guidance: suitable for all

Fairy Tales (see my write-up here)
Until 23 August, various timeslots throughout each day (usually 09:30–16:30)
The British Library, 96 Euston Road, NW1 2DB
Adults £13.50, 5–16s £13.50, 1–5s £6.75, under-1s free
Age guidance: 3–10

Cleopatra: The Experience (see my write-up here)
Daily until 12 July, timeslots from 10:00
Immerse LDN, Excel Waterfront, ExCel, E16 1XL
Adults £27, 4–15s £22, under-4s free
Age guidance: suitable for all

Beauty and Destruction: Wartime London in Art (see my write-up here)
Daily until 1 November, 10:00–18:00
Imperial War Museum, Lambeth Road, SE1 6HZ
FREE
Age guidance: suitable for all

David Hockney: A Year in Normandie and Some Other Thoughts about Painting (see my write-up here)
Tuesday–Sunday until 23 August, 10:00–18:00
Serpentine North, West Carriage Drive, W2 2AR
FREE, but booking required

Inside Aardman: Wallace & Gromit and Friends (see my write-up here)
Daily until 15 November, 10:00–17:45
Young V&A, Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA
£11 per person (under-4s free)

Ramses and the Pharaohs' Gold: The Exhibition (see my write-up here)
Daily until 31 May (various timeslots)
Adults £32.05, 5–15s £28.05, under-5s free
Battersea Power Station, 2 Circus Road East, SW11 8DQ
Age guidance: 5+

Voyage to the Deep – Underwater Adventures
Daily until 1 November, 10:30–17:30
Horniman Museum & Gardens, 100 London Road, SE23 3PQ
Adults £9.80, children £7, under-3s free
Age guidance: 2+

Octonauts: Adventure at the Horniman
Daily until 1 November, 10:00–17:30
Horniman Museum & Gardens, 100 London Road, SE23 3PQ
FREE

Tracey Emin: A Second Life (see my write-up here)
Daily until 31 August, 10:00–18:00
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
Adults £14, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

Queen Elizabeth II: Her Life in Style (see my write-up here)
Daily until 18 October, 10:00–17:00
The King’s Gallery, Buckingham Palace, SW1A 1AA
Adults £22, 5–17s £11, under-5s free