DADS IN LONDON

Plans worth leaving the house for.

🛹 35 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (9–10 May)

Jeff – Dads in London

Hey DILFs!

I moved home yesterday, which means you’re in luck: I didn’t have time to write a convoluted introduction full of jokes that only I find funny. 

There’s still TONS of stuff to do of course: it would be weird if London stopped on my behalf. So everything from here on is reassuringly long-winded. 

Enjoy! 

Jeff xx

1: Tap, swipe and panic your way through games that depend on everyone else in the room 

WiFi Wars

📍 Where: artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
📅 When: Sunday 10 May, 15:00
🎟️ Price: £13.75 per person
👶 Age: 6+

Here’s a line that’s depressingly guaranteed to work with your kids: “If you get your t-shirt and shorts and socks and shoes on now, and if you do a wee without me asking twice… we can go to a show where you’ll be allowed to mess around with a smartphone for an entire hour and possibly win prizes.”

To be fair to WiFi Wars, they’re not charging you £13.75 for the privilege of accelerating your children’s descent into a screen-based dystopia. The whole session is properly interactive – with actual human people communicating in the same room – and the outcome depends entirely on how competent or deeply uncoordinated the audience turns out to be. It’s good, old-fashioned fun, just with considerably more processing power than Buckaroo.

The setup is simple: the audience is split into teams and plays through a series of games, all controlled through your phone and played out on the big screen. Every now and then someone’s phone takes over the proceedings, with mixed results depending on how they handle the pressure.

It’s hosted by Steve McNeil (team captain on the TV show Dara O’Briain’s Go 8 Bit), who keeps things moving while exposing just how competitive people can get. Just make sure your device is fully charged – nothing ruins a smartphone-centred audience-participation show faster than a dead battery.

Find out more: https://www.artsdepot.co.uk/event/wifi-wars 

2: Watch a not-quite-what-you-expected tale unfold through voices in your ears

Toto Kerblammo!

📍 Where: Unicorn Theatre, 147 Tooley Street, SE1 2HZ
📅 When: Until 22 May, various dates and start times
🎟️ Price: £14.50–£18.50 per person, depending on the date
👶 Age: 10+

Did you know that most children’s theatre shows come with a “Visual Story” – a spoiler-filled guide for kids who like to know exactly what’s coming? It explains the building, the seating, what the stage looks like, and anything potentially intense – often with photos and a scene-by-scene outline.

I read the one for Toto Kerblammo! because the online description was a bit light, and I’m very glad I did: the show covers some much darker topics than the title implies. 

It’s about Effy, who ends up staying with her aunt and uncle after things at home take a turn. She smuggles her dog into their flat because animals aren’t allowed, and the show follows her trying to keep that secret going while everything around her is a bit unstable: new place, new people, and a general sense that something serious already happened before we started watching. It doesn’t take long before it’s clear that this isn’t just a “girl hides dog and oops she must suddenly start shouting to muffle the barking sounds!” story. It then builds to an ending that’s a lot more abrupt – and a lot more sad – than you might be expecting. 

You wear headphones throughout, and different voices come through at different points – such as Effy’s thoughts, the adults around her, and even Toto himself – making it a very different (and, yes, more “immersive” – sorrysorrysorry for that word) experience from your average stage show. I haven’t been, but reviewers say it works brilliantly.

And while I know I’ve made this sound as depressing as the most tear-jerking moments of Bambi, E.T. and My Girl all rolled into one, the reviews say there’s plenty of mischief and a “quirky sense of fun” running through it. They also say that, while the ending is distressing, it’s threaded with some genuinely comforting and hopeful bits.

But I would recommend having a quick look at the Visual Guide beforehand, just so you know what’s coming.

Find out more: https://www.unicorntheatre.com/events/toto-kerblammo 

3: Dance through a proper rave that just happens to include your children

Clubhouse: Kids’ Rave

📍 Where: Big Penny Social, 1 Priestley Way, E17 6AL
📅 When: Saturday 9 May, 12:00–16:00
🎟️ Price: Adults £15, children £10, pre-walking infants free
👶 Age: Suitable for all

If you prefer your events guides to be short, sharp and to the point, I suspect you’re new to Dads in London and you won’t be hanging around here much longer.

Before you unsubscribe, though, let me share this upcoming event from Big Penny Social – because the write-up on the website couldn’t be any more brusque: 

“CLUBHOUSE: a family-friendly rave + dance party for the heads.

A proper party built for families.

Esteemed DJs playing proper, underground sets on a high-quality sound system.

Face paint, bubbles, glow sticks, vinyl workshop and DJ tutorials, creative activities and space for children to experience the music their parents genuinely love.

Chillout safe space, baby-changing area and buggy park.

Fully licensed bar.

This is a family event – adults must attend with children. Adults are fully responsible for their kids at all times. Max 3 children per adult.

Music is played at safe but present levels (you’ll still feel it). Expect a busy dancefloor environment.

Ear defenders optional but not provided.” 

Pleasantries are also optional, I guess. 

It doesn’t seem like the friendliest environment on earth for a rave, but then I guess a rave isn’t supposed to be about bonhomie, cups of tea and making sure everyone feels emotionally supported. And, I guess, if your kids are going to grow up to be ravers, it’s better they realise that sooner rather than later. 

Find out more: https://bigpennysocial.co.uk/whats-on/clubhouse-kids-rave-may 

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4: Sample a global mix of short films with minimal dialogue and maximum variety

Clermont-Ferrand 2026: Short Films for the Family

📍 Where: The Garden Cinema, 39-41 Parker Street, WC2B 5PQ
📅 When: Saturday and Sunday, 11:00
🎟️ Price: Pay what you can
👶 Age: Rated PG

You know something is highbrow when its website is in French... and you know you’re not a highbrow person when you assume the Clermont-Ferrand International Short Film Festival will have been named after someone called Monsieur Clermont-Ferrand – who was probably an existentialist, surrealist-impressionist philosopher-artist who drank Champagne with Monet and dated Simone de Beauvoir. Or something.

Embarrassingly for me, Clermont-Ferrand isn’t some towering French intellectual from the 19th century or 20th century, or indeed any other century. Clermont-Ferrand is simply the place where the International Short Film Festival takes place – like the Cannes Film Festival or the Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling Festival.

There are hundreds of short film festivals in France alone, and the CFISFF (ironically, I’m the only one in history to have shortened its name) is recognised as the top short film festival in the world – so that gives you an idea of how big a deal it is. About 600 films are shown each year at the festival, and there are awards in various categories.

This screening at The Garden Cinema is a chance to see seven of the festival’s favourite animated short films for children – and… let’s just say the descriptions are definitely sticking with the “short” theme. We have Petit Bonhomme de poche (The Pocket Man): “A little man lives in an old suitcase. One day he finds a new friend – an old blind man.” And Löwe: “The lion must get fit. The gazelle does not think he is capable of doing so.” Among others.

The films come from a range of countries, including Germany, France, Estonia and Poland. But most have minimal or no dialogue, so you don’t need to worry about navigating subtitles with a child who’s only just started phonics lessons.

And if one of them isn’t quite your thing, don’t worry – they’re all very short, so you’re never more than a few minutes away from the next one.

Find out more: https://www.thegardencinema.co.uk/film/clermont-ferrand-2026-short-films-for-the-family/ 

5: Join a centuries-old tradition of puppets, parades and jolly good fun 

Covent Garden May Fayre & Puppet Festival

📍 Where: St Paul’s Church Garden, Bedford Street, WC2E 9ED
📅 When: Sunday 10 May, 11:00–17:30
🎟️ Price: FREE
👶 Age: Suitable for all

Do you ever visit Covent Garden and wish it were still a place to buy fruit and veg? Sometimes I think it’d be nice to have a farmers’ market-esque place where you buy fresh, local produce and take it home in brown paper bags feeling like a character in some sort of Richard Curtis film. 

But then I think about the chainsaw juggler, and the sword-swallowing contortionist, and the ventriloquists, and the naughty puppets, and I realise we now have something much more special and unique there. 

The Covvie G performers only exist because the market closed down. When it shut in the early 1970s, the Covent Garden Community Association fought to save the old market buildings from being destroyed. They won the battle, but the area was boarded up and looked pretty desolate for ages – so the local arts organisation, Alternative Arts, decided to help regenerate the area. They started a street theatre in 1975 under the portico of St Paul’s Church, thanks to the generosity of Rev John Arrowsmith for giving permission for this to happen. It was mostly puppeteers at first – the more full-on street acts came later, and gradually spread beyond the church.

Since then, there’s been a festival every year to commemorate and celebrate street performers – and particularly Mr Punch, who’s arguably the greatest street performer of all time. The festival is always on the second Sunday in May because that’s when Samuel Pepys wrote the first recorded sighting of Punch in England, “within the rayles of Covent Garden”. 

So, as this Sunday is the second Sunday of May, it’s the 51st Covent Garden May Fayre and Puppet Festival. The day starts with a walking procession around the neighbourhood, led by a marching brass band. Then Punch and Judy “Professors” and puppeteers from across the country and around the world will perform throughout the day. There’ll also be a birthday toast to Mr Punch, a special church service, clowns, stilt walkers, pearly king and queens, live music, stalls, and plenty more. 

If you look at the Punch & Judy Facebook page, you’ll see just how exciting this year’s event will be. They’re constantly sharing photos, letting us know about new performers being added to the schedule, and sharing just how fun the event will be. They’ve also announced there’ll be a prize for the puppet with the biggest personality in the parade, which is useful to know if you have a particularly charismatic Kermit at home. 

The entire thing is completely free to attend and – as the organisers put it – “is a true celebration of our cultural heritage. Long may it continue.” 

Find out more: https://alternativearts.org.uk/events/covent-garden-may-fayre-puppet-festival 

Other listings

This section now brings together both new events I don’t have room to expand on and selected older ones from past newsletters that are still running. If you see a “(see my write-up here)”, that’s your cue to click through and rediscover whatever Past Me felt strongly enough to write about.