🎤 50 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (13–14 June)

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Hey DILFs!

Here's a delightfully odd thing to do this weekend: the National Portrait Gallery is creating a massive group portrait by asking ordinary people like us to contribute our faces.

You upload a photo of yourself and/or your kids, and an AI system (developed by artist Es Devlin and Google) turns it into a charcoal-style portrait. If you choose to submit it, your portrait gets blended into a giant collective artwork that will be displayed at the National Portrait Gallery until October next year. You can also download your own version.

The whole thing is called A National Portrait, and the idea is that it should represent the people who make up the UK today, rather than a small number of famous or historically important figures. So, assuming you and your kids aren't going to be the next Henry III, David Beckham or Shakespeare, this is basically your one realistic chance of ending up on the walls of the NPG.

Then again, if you're selective about where your family's faces appear, there are plenty of other recommendations below with considerably fewer algorithms involved.

Enjoy! 

Jeff xx

1: Watch Londoners risk public humiliation for your entertainment

Bearpit Karaoke June 2026
Saturday 13 June, 16:00–20:00
Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, SE11 5HL
FREE – booking required
Age guidance: suitable for all

One of my best ever memories was going to the Bearpit Karaoke in Berlin’s Mauerpark in the 2010s. I visited its stone amphitheatre a bunch of times while I lived there, watching brave strangers sing to a backing track produced by two battery-powered speakers that had seen better days. 

It’s still going strong nearly two decades later: literal thousands of spectators go each week to cheer on the performers – whose ability ranges from “This beats Celine” to “Oh god no please stop”. But I haven’t been in ages because someone in our family hates Berlin with a passion and refuses to go. 

Which is why I’m delighted to learn about London’s very own Bearpit Karaoke. I have a feeling it’s been a thing for quite a few years now, but I’ve only just heard about it, so there you go. From the clips I’ve watched online, it’s decidedly more low-key than Berlin’s version, but also far less daunting – and I’m impressed by how many kids get up and have a go at singing. Also, those kids are bloomin’ cute.

Watching is free. Performing is free. You can choose whatever track you like, and then perform to your friends, family, pets and a field full of cheerful onlookers.

Find out more: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/vauxhallone/2123762 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Don’t get the tube or a bus to Vauxhall: arrive by boat instead! Uber Boat by Thames Clippers runs regular bus services all year round from tons of piers in London – such as London Bridge, Blackfriars, Westminster and Waterloo (but loads more too!). You can use your contactless card or Oyster card to pay as you board. 

2: Embrace your inner dad dancer without fear of judgement

Saturday Sessions: Dad Dancing
Saturday 13 June, 13:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required
Age guidance: 5–11

When I read the name of the event, my first thought was to cancel any existing plans and make a beeline for the Southbank Centre. When has dad dancing ever been celebrated? This is my chance, I thought, to dust off my Dusty Robot, Lawnmower and Sprinkler moves, and finally find my people.

Turns out this event isn’t quite the dad-dancing utopia I’d been expecting – but in many ways, it’s even better than that.

Touted as an “artist-led workshop”, it consists of games and shared songs designed to turn the dance floor into a place where men and their children can “let go of the idea of getting it right”. The itinerary also mentions participating in “small acts of trust”, which I’m scared isn’t about clinging on to your wallet for dear life (lest the other dads be of the pickpocketing variety) but is actually akin to those team-building activities where you have to believe that the preoccupied parent behind you will catch you when you fall backwards in his direction.

Regardless of whether I'll land on the floor or be swept effortlessly into the arms of a devoted dad, I’m excited for this. Even better than letting my arsenal of dance moves loose on a dance floor just once, the purpose of this event seems to be about making you feel confident doing it whenever you’re in a place where Overprotected starts playing.

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/saturday-sessions-dad-dancing 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Stick around afterwards for a freestyle Riverside Boogie with Toasty Tots XL (aimed at ages 5–11 and their grown-ups). There’ll be “fabulous tunes, a warm and friendly atmosphere and a chance to shake some tail features” on the (fingers crossed) sunny terrace. You don’t need to have been to the Dad Dancing session to attend, and it’s free for everyone. 

👍️ FYI there’ s a relaxed session of Dad Dancing at 11:00. Details here. 

👉 Brief interruption in a horrible colour: if this newsletter has earned its keep, you can buy me a coffee. (Completely optional, of course.)

3: Experience the closest thing we have to a professional bubble wizard

The Bubble Show at Woolwich Works
Sunday 14 June, 14:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
£18 per person
Age guidance: 3–12

At what age do children stop LOVING bubbles? I know adults enjoy bubbles too (for the most part), but at some point, we grown-ups will spot a couple of them floating in the air and no longer have that look of obsessive joy in our eyes.

Thankfully, my children are still of prime bubble age – which means it remains the best superpower at my disposal. Any time one of them is in a mood or feeling down or doesn’t know what to do, I can whip out some bubbles. If I REALLY want to bring out the big guns, I’ll grab the crappy battery-operated bubble machine I bought many years ago from Temu (£2.28!!!), and they stand around it like early humans discovering fire.

All of this is making me wonder why there aren’t more bubble shows. IN FACT… why aren’t I in the process of auditioning for the next bubble superstar and drafting a five-year plan for global bubble domination?

Unfortunately for me, the bubble show that already exists has nabbed the best name. The Bubble Show consists of bouncy bubbles, bubbles inside bubbles, smoke bubbles, animal bubbles, giant bubbles and fire bubbles. There’s a bubble volcano, a bubble tornado, spinning bubbles, colourful bubbles, bubbles that won’t burst, human-enveloping bubbles, rainbow-shaped bubbles, foamy bubbles and regular plain ol’ bubbles. There’s a bit of a narrative, but mostly it’s just bubbles – with plenty of opportunities for the audience to play around with them too.

Equally unfortunately for me, the show is fronted by the world’s most impressive bubble performer. The Highland Joker is his name, and he happens to be a three-time Guinness World Record holder for putting someone inside a bubble for the longest time (1 minute 2.92 seconds, with his wife); for the longest bubble rally (27, with his daughter); and for the most people inside a bubble in 30 seconds (15 people). 

Find out more: https://www.woolwich.works/EVENTS/THE-BUBBLE-SHOW 

While you’re there… 

👍️The Royal Arsenal has been around since the late 1600s, as the place where armaments and ammunition were manufactured for the British Armed Forces. These days, however, it’s all green open spaces, creative places, and restaurants, cafes and bars.

👍️ Maryon Wilson Animal Park is a happy home to ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, pigs, ponies and deer. It's found inside Maryon Wilson Park – a beautiful wooded area with streams and open grassland and all the idyllic things you miss about the countryside (until you remember that the countryside is mostly boring). It’s about a 15-minute drive or 20-minute bus ride from Woolwich Works.

4: Try London's most relaxing competitive sport

King’s Cross Pétanque
Until Wednesday 30 September, 09:00–21:00
Pancras Square, King's Cross, N1C 4AG
FREE – just turn up
Age guidance: suitable for all

In case you’ve never heard of pétanque (which I certainly hadn’t), it’s a form of boules – where you throw a small metal ball towards a small wooden ball and try to get it closer to the small wooden ball than anyone else’s small metal ball. There are many variations of boules and they all have the same aim but verrrry slightly different rules.

Pétanque has one of the most charming origin stories in sport. In 1907, a French player called Jules Lenoir developed such severe rheumatism that he could no longer manage the running approach used in jeu provençal – the most popular form of boules in southern France at the time. So his friends changed the rules: everyone would throw from a standing position. The new game became known as pétanque, from a Provençal phrase meaning roughly “feet planted”. It turned out to be easier to learn, needed less space and could be played almost anywhere – which is how a favour for one bloke ended up spreading around the world.

Pétanque arrived in Britain in the 1960s and 70s, when holidaymakers returned from France determined to recreate a bit of Provençal life back home. More recently, it has enjoyed a second boom thanks to London's love affair with “competitive socialising” – alongside crazy golf, shuffleboard and any other activity that involves keeping score but not really exerting yourself.

Admittedly, London hasn't quite embraced pétanque with the enthusiasm of France, where “literally every town and village will have a large, perfectly graded pétanque court that can facilitate several games at once”. But it has become popular enough for entrepreneurs to spot an opportunity, and so of course many venues have tried to posh it up and charge in the region of £13 a head for it.

One place that's resisted the urge is Coal Drops Yard. Just turn up with your group, use the app to unlock the equipment locker, and get playing (the app also contains instructions for how to play). 

It’s all completely free and operates on trust: you need to return the equipment to the locker so that the next players can enjoy the game too. The only drawback is that there's no way to reserve a court beforehand; I suppose you need to pay £13 a head for that sort of privilege.

Find out more: https://www.kingscross.co.uk/event/club-petanque 

5: Immerse yourself in peak Britpop-era nostalgia

1996: 30 years on
Mondays–Saturdays until 19 September, 09:30–various closing times depending on the day
Barbican Music Library, Barbican Library, Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
FREE – no booking required
Age guidance: suitable for all 

I was 12 years old in 1996, which means I took it all completely for granted.

The Spice Girls, Oasis and Blur just happened to be on the radio. Trainspotting was just a film that older kids talked about. Euro '96 was just the same old Euros with a better theme tune.

Nobody wandered around saying, "Enjoy this, everyone. Future generations will deliberately visit a library to stare at a display case containing Mel B's leopard-print boots." And yet here we are – because with the benefit of hindsight, some rose-tinted glasses and a quick look around, it's now perfectly clear that 1996 was the peak of human civilisation.

This exhibition celebrates the strange moment when Britpop, football, fashion, politics and celebrity culture all seemed to be happening in the same room at the same time. It’s curated by Dominic Mohan, who joined The Sun’s Bizarre column in 1996 and therefore has a reasonable claim to knowing what was going on.

On display are the aforementioned boots worn by Scary Spice, previously unseen Oasis memorabilia, old Nokia phones, magazine covers, gig tickets and sketches of bands by the music executive who signed Blur, Elastica and Supergrass.

There’s a press release issued after Liam Gallagher was cleared of biting somebody’s nose, which is basically 1996 in a nutshell.

You may well find yourself explaining to your children how we used to send text messages by repeatedly pressing the same button on a keypad until the correct letter appeared, and why an entire generation became obsessed with a game whose central premise was “line gets longer”.

Find out more: https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk/events/1996-30-years-on

While you’re there… 

👍️ Saturday is World Naked Bike Ride day! There are many noble intentions behind WNBR (protesting against the global dependency on oil, curbing car culture, obtaining real rights for cyclists, celebrating body freedom, etc.), but – from a spectator’s perspective – it’s also bloody good fun to watch over 1,000 people cycling around London with their bits out. 

If you wanted, you could use the event as a learning experience for your kids: teach them about the purposes behind the movement, encourage their map-reading skills via following the cycling route, or perhaps provide a combined spelling and anatomy lesson with a (quiet) game of I Spy. 

The exact route will be decided much closer to the start date (keep informed via their FB page), but you can check out the starting locations (and timings) here. The Tower Hill starting location is an easy bus ride or quick cab journey from the Barbican Centre. 

👍️ There’s a selection of short films for young children at Barbican Cinema in the morning. Shorts for Wee Ones is aimed at ages 3+ and features “curious capybaras, chef mushrooms, colourful body cells, woodland animals, an affectionate (and very hungry) crocodile, a voiceless cockerel and a little girl who best communicates through drawings”. 

Other listings

This section brings together both new events I don’t have room to expand on and selected older ones from past newsletters that are still running. If you see a “(see my write-up here)”, that’s your cue to click through and rediscover whatever Past Me felt strongly enough to write about.

The Lost Oasis (full review coming soon!)
Until 30 August, various multi-hour timeslots
St Martin-in-the-Fields, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 4JJ
£6–£11 per person

Suitcase Circus
Saturday and Sunday, various start times
Puppet Theatre Barge, Blomfield Road (opposite 35), W9 2PF
Adults £15, under-16s £12, under-2s free
Age guidance: 5+

Julio Le Parc: Light. Colour. Action. (Full review coming soon!)
Until 3 May 2027, 10:00–18:00 (Friday and Saturday until 21:00)
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
Adults £15, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

Pirate Pixie & The Mermaid
Various dates until 26 July, 10:45 and (usually) 14:15
Whippersnappers, College lodge, Old College Gate, College Road, Dulwich Park, SE21 7BQ
Adults £17.50, children £28.50
Age guidance: 3–7

The London International Animation Festival presents Brilliant Animated Shorts
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00
The Garden Cinema, 39-41 Parker Street, WC2B 5PQ
Pay what you can
Age guidance: 3–12

Norman’s Big Day Out
Saturday 13 June, 11:00 and 14:00
Jacksons Lane Arts Centre, 269a Archway Road, N6 5AA
£10 per person
Age guidance: 4+

Marilyn Monroe: A Portrait (see my write-up here)
Daily until 6 September, 10:30–18:00 (Friday and Saturday until 21:00)
National Portrait Gallery, St Martin's Place, WC2H 0HE
Adults £27, under-26s £5, under-12s free

Serpentine Pavilion 2026 by LANZA atelier (see my write-up here)
Until 25 October 2026, check website for precise timings each day
Situated by Serpentine South, Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA
FREE

The Sun and The Moon: Art Inspired by the Celestial (full review coming soon!)
Until 8 September, 10:00–18:00
Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York’s HQ, King’s Road, SW3 4RY
Adults £20, 6–16s £13, under-6s free

Criminal: An Untold History of Homelessness, Resistance and Survival
Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays until 25 July, 12:30–16:30
Museum of Homelessness, The Manor House Lodge, Inside Finsbury Park by Manor House Gate, Seven Sisters Road, N4 2DE
Free – no booking required

Winston Churchill: The Painter (see my write-up here)
Daily until 29 November, 10:00–17:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
Adults £18, 12–17s £6, under-12s free

Origo: Delcy Morelos (see my write-up here)
Daily until 31 July, check website for opening times
Sculpture Court, Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
FREE

Holy Pop! (see my write-up here)
Daily until 9 August, various timeslots throughout each day
Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA
Pay what you can

Elizabeth I: Queen & Court
Until 10 July, weekdays 09:30–18:00
Philip Mould & Company, 18–19 Pall Mall, SW1Y 5LU
Free – no booking required

James McNeill Whistler
Until 27 September, various timeslots throughout each day
Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG
Adults £24, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

Jurassic Oceans: Monsters of the Deep
Until 3 January 2027, timeslots between 10:00 and 16:30
Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD
Adults £17.50, 4–17s £8.75, under-4s free
Age guidance: 8+

Bubble Explorers
Until Friday 23 October, various timeslots each day
Science Museum, Exhibition Road, SW7 2DD
£4.50 per person (under-2s free)
Age guidance: 7 and under

The Rapping Princess
Until 21 June, various start times each day
Polka Theatre, 240 The Broadway, SW19 1SB
£11 per person
Age guidance: 3–6

The Flying Bath
Until 12 July, various start times each day
Little Angel Theatre, 14 Dagmar Passage, N1 2DN
Adults £15.50, 1–17s £13.50
Age guidance: 2–5

Toto the Ninja Cat and the Great Snake Escape
Until 19 July, various start times each day
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
Adults £15.50, 1–17s £13.50
Age guidance: 5+

Skate 50 (see my write-up here)
Various dates until 21 June, various timeslots
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Pay what you can: £0–£10 (free for skateboarders)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Zurbarán (see my write-up here)
Daily until 23 August, 10:00–18:00 (Fridays until 21:00)
The National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN
£20–£22 (off-peak/peak), under-18s free

NIGO: From Japan with Love
Daily until 4 October, 10:00–17:00 Monday–Thursday and 10:00–18:00 Friday–Sunday
Design Museum, 224–238 Kensington High Street, W8 6AG
Adults £19, 6–17s £10, under-6s free

Paulo Nimer Pjota: Encantados
Wednesday–Sunday until 23 August, 12:00–18:00 (Wednesdays until 21:00)
South London Gallery, 65–67 Peckham Road, SE5 8UH
FREE – no booking required

David Bowie: You're Not Alone (see my write-up here)
Until 10 September (most days), 10:30–16:30 or 17:30 depending on the day
Lightroom, 12 Lewis Cubitt Square, N1C 4DY
Adults £29.50, 3–18s £19.50, under-3s free (family discounts available at certain times of day)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Early Netherlandish drawings (see my write-up here)
Daily until 20 September, 10:00–17:00 (until 20:30 on Fridays)
British Museum, Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG
FREE

Paint! Pattern! Print! The Textiles of Susan Collier and Sarah Campbell (see my write-up here)
Tuesday–Saturday until 13 September, 11:00–18:00
Fashion and Textile Museum, 83 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3XF
Adults £11.50, 12–17s £9.50, under-12s free

The Wallace Collection at War
Daily until 25 October, 10:00–17:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE

Konrad Mägi
Tuesday–Sunday until 12 July, 10:00–17:00
Dulwich Picture Gallery, College Road, SE21 7AD
Adults £18, under-18s free

The Coming of Age
Tuesday–Sunday until 29 November
Wellcome Collection, 183 Euston Road, NW1 2BE
FREE

The Last Princess of Punjab
Daily until 8 November, 10:00–18:00
Kensington Palace, Kensington Gardens, W8 4PX
Free with admission (adults £24.70, 5–17s £12.40, under-5s free)

Mundo Pixar Experience (see my write-up here)
Until 28 June, 09:00/10:00–20:00 (earlier start time on weekends)
Fulton Road, Wembley, HA9 0TF
Adults £34–£36, 2–15s £22–£24, under-2s free
Age guidance: suitable for all

Fairy Tales (see my write-up here)
Until 23 August, various timeslots throughout each day (usually 09:30–16:30)
The British Library, 96 Euston Road, NW1 2DB
Adults £13.50, 5–16s £13.50, 1–5s £6.75, under-1s free
Age guidance: 3–10

Cleopatra: The Experience (see my write-up here)
Daily until 12 July, timeslots from 10:00
Immerse LDN, Excel Waterfront, ExCel, E16 1XL
Adults £27, 4–15s £22, under-4s free
Age guidance: suitable for all

Beauty and Destruction: Wartime London in Art (see my write-up here)
Daily until 1 November, 10:00–18:00
Imperial War Museum, Lambeth Road, SE1 6HZ
FREE
Age guidance: suitable for all

David Hockney: A Year in Normandie and Some Other Thoughts about Painting (see my write-up here)
Tuesday–Sunday until 23 August, 10:00–18:00
Serpentine North, West Carriage Drive, W2 2AR
FREE, but booking required

Inside Aardman: Wallace & Gromit and Friends (see my write-up here)
Daily until 15 November, 10:00–17:45
Young V&A, Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA
£11 per person (under-4s free)

Voyage to the Deep – Underwater Adventures
Daily until 1 November, 10:30–17:30
Horniman Museum & Gardens, 100 London Road, SE23 3PQ
Adults £9.80, children £7, under-3s free
Age guidance: 2+

Octonauts: Adventure at the Horniman
Daily until 1 November, 10:00–17:30
Horniman Museum & Gardens, 100 London Road, SE23 3PQ
FREE

Tracey Emin: A Second Life (see my write-up here)
Daily until 31 August, 10:00–18:00
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
Adults £14, 12–18s £5, under-12s free