Hey DILFs!

Last week I told you about the new additions to The Golden Ticket, my membership for people who’d like a bit more help planning things to do with their children. Alongside the free Wednesday newsletter, members get:

A few questions came back about how it all works, so I thought I’d answer them here.

What’s in the database that isn’t in the free Wednesday newsletter?

Wednesday’s email gives you five carefully chosen things to do that weekend, plus plenty of other events taking place over the next few days. The database lets you look further ahead – whether you’re planning next Saturday or trying to organise a school holiday before it suddenly becomes tomorrow. It contains the full collection of upcoming events I’ve found, rather than just the picks for the coming weekend.

What’s the difference between the database and the weekly Golden Ticket email?

The database gives you everything to browse whenever you like. The weekly Golden Ticket email picks out the key things likely to sell out and tells you about them while there are still tickets to book. Think of it as a nudge to get the good stuff into your diary before someone else gets there first.

What does the interactive guide actually help me do?

It’s about making outings work for the whole family once you get there. Choose your children’s ages and what you’re planning – a museum, festival, restaurant, live performance or shopping trip – and it gives you practical ways to keep everyone interested, make waiting less painful and know when to call it a day. The ambition is that you get to enjoy it too, rather than spend the entire time negotiating how soon you can leave.

If I join now, can I access the database and guides straight away?

Yes! You can get straight into the future-events database, the October half-term guide and How to do (almost) anything with children. They’re all linked from your Golden Ticket page, so there’s no need to excavate your inbox. Then you’ll receive the weekly Golden Ticket email and more guides for future school holidays as they’re ready.

Have any other questions? Reply to this email and I’ll get back to you with an answer.

Ready to join? The Golden Ticket is £36 a year – the equivalent of £3 a month. Get your Golden Ticket here.

Right, on to your usual five things to do this weekend!

Enjoy,

Jeff xx

Goodfellas and Little Legends
Sunday 18 October, 11:00–13:00
Citizen Hub Wimbledon, 267 The Broadway, SW19 1SD
FREE – booking required
Age guidance: 2–11s only (maximum two children per adult)

I normally only quote readers verbatim when they’re being angry at me and I find it funny. But today I’m going to share an email from a nice happy chap called Paddy, who doesn’t seem to have any complaints about what I write in Dads in London.

He says:

“I went to a fantastic event today in Wimbledon at the Citizen Hub. It’s called ‘Goodfellas and Little Legends’, run by a community-interest group called Unique Being.

“It’s a two-hour play and games session for dads/male role models with their little ones, and it runs once a month. The two lads running it have a fierce energy to get kids moving and dads bonding. There’s a fruit offering to finish.”

(Is this an offering to the gods, like in the olden days? Or does everyone just get a banana once it’s over?)

“I’m not affiliated with them but I do know these things stop if people don’t turn up. Today we only had five dads, and it should have been more!”

I suspect this will get more interest than anything else in the newsletter, and I hope I’m right: it looks fantastic. So please do click and grab some free tickets: I’m prepared to overlook all the randomly placed apostrophes on the booking page for this.

I, meanwhile, will be questioning whether I need to spend so much time trying to be clever and funny when Paddy’s managed to sell this with just the facts and a bit of potential fruit.

Find out more: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/goodfellas-and-little-legends-tickets-2000818518048

👍️ Citizen Hub Wimbledon is literally opposite Polka Theatre – a venue that features in this newsletter pretty much every week for its children’s shows. On Sunday they’re showing Toto at 11:00 and 14:00. It’s a musical about a donkey who wants to become an astronaut rather than spend a lifetime carrying boxes, so he sets off for the moon in a carrot-filled rocket. Suitable for ages 3–8.

(Toto is also showing on Saturday at 11:00 and 14:00, and various other dates until 1 November.)

👍️ At Polka Theatre there’s a lovely little indoor play area with a book corner, dressing-up costumes, magnetic boards and activity sheets. There’s also a multi-sensory garden and outdoor play space.

Painting the French Riviera
Tuesday–Sunday until 31 January, 10:00–18:00 (Friday and Saturday until 21:00)
Royal Academy, Burlington House, Piccadilly, W1J 0BD
Adults £26, under-16s free

There’s a painting of mimosa flowers in the Royal Academy’s new French Riviera exhibition that the Telegraph critic thinks is sensational and the Times reviewer thinks is about the worst Bonnard she’s ever seen. The guy from the Independent suggests the Monets might make you burst into tears (in a good way), whereas the Times found them far too sweet. The dot-painted coastal scenes are considered soporific by the Times, stiff by the Telegraph, repetitive and overpromoted by the Guardian, and stunning by the Independent. Several of them weren’t keen on the travel posters, which, for the record, I loved.

Brilliantly, between them, they've given me permission to like almost everything: whichever paintings I enjoyed, there's a qualified adult willing to back me up. They know more about a single brushstroke than I know about the entire history of art, but they're still telling me what they liked rather than what I'm going to like. Except with the posters, where I guess I'm going to have to represent myself. (They really are lovely.)

The exhibition itself shows what happened when a succession of artists discovered the south-east coast of France and became understandably reluctant to leave. Between the 1870s and the 1960s, Monet, Renoir, Matisse, Picasso and others went there to paint its beaches, boats, gardens and inhabitants, drawn by the light and colours.

New railway routes made it easier to get there, and the Riviera started filling up with people having a much nicer time than everyone else – artists included. Some painted what was in front of them, others added brighter colours, and a few used painting as an excuse to gawp at all the nakedness. What all the paintings have in common is very little sign of work or chores or money troubles or anyone’s kids having a tantrum because the local pâtisserie had run out of mille-feuilles. (In fact, where are the children in all these scenes?)

The Times compared the coastal scenes to someone else’s holiday photos from Cap d’Antibes when your own trip was to St Leonards-on-Sea in the rain, which is fair, but not much of a problem if you’re in the mood for some happy escapism. If you like to leave an exhibition feeling slightly worse about being alive, I guess you might find it all a bit too nice.

As for the travel posters – the ones pretty much all the professional critics hated – these are old railway adverts selling the Riviera through colourful illustrations of beaches, palm trees and grand hotels. I realise their job was to persuade people to go there, but I’d happily settle for having one on my wall. There are film clips too, including The Red Shoes and To Catch a Thief, showing how cinema helped sell the same glamorous idea of the place. I've never been to the French Riviera, so I'd love to know: is it really as good as all these paintings, films and posters make out? Or is this all an incredibly effective advertising campaign and the place actually looks like the back of a Travelodge?

Regardless, I enjoyed all the prettiness. That’s my review. I appreciate that nobody is going to pay me to write “ooh, lovely” several times, but luckily I have my own newsletter.

Find out more: https://www.royalacademy.org.uk/exhibition/painting-the-french-riviera

Light and Magic: The Birth of Art Photography
Daily until 21 February, 10:00–18:00 (Friday and Saturday until 21:00)
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
Adults £20, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

When you find a blurry picture in your camera roll, do you delete it or think “masterpiece”? If it’s the latter, you might be a fan of pictorialism without realising it.

I suppose that’s a bit simplistic. The pictorialists were doing it on purpose, whereas you hadn’t realised your camera lens was covered in jam. But the photos might look similar: a fuzzy, softly lit image of your toddler in a nappy and his mum’s shoes could be just as worthy of gallery wall space as Edward Steichen’s carefully coloured view of New York’s Flatiron Building at twilight). I’m almost certainly not qualified to make this comparison, but I’ve made it now.

Pictorialism took off in the late 19th century, when photographers were trying to convince people that photography could be art. They were up against the belief that a camera simply recorded whatever you pointed it at, which didn’t leave much credit for the person doing the pointing. So they set about demonstrating that the camera didn’t make all the decisions: they chose and arranged their subjects, softened the focus and used lighting to create a particular mood. They could also work on the prints themselves – brushing away details or building up layers of colour. Some of the results look more like paintings or drawings than photographs.

Pictorialism was happening all over the world – including in Brazil, the Netherlands, Japan, Germany, Singapore, France, Australia, Canada, England, Korea, Austria, Spain and Russia. (Those are in order of Scrabble score, highest first, in case you ever wondered why these newsletters take me so long to write.) And Light and Magic brings together prints by over 80 artists, including works that have never been exhibited before.

After a few decades, pictorialism began to fall out of fashion – because, as Nelly Furtado explained, all good things come to an end. Modernist photography took over, with many photographers swapping the soft, painterly look for sharp detail, bold shapes and unusual angles. Some had been pictorialists themselves, so it was quite the change of direction. Case in point: Imogen Cunningham.

Pictorialist era:

Modernist era:

If the first picture makes you want to see more, this is the place. If you’re still thinking “yes, but I’ve taken blurry photos and nobody’s offered me an exhibition”, you might need a bit more persuading. There are over 200 prints here, so they’ve given themselves a decent chance.

Find out more: https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/light-and-magic

👍️ Have a look at Tarek Atoui’s new work in the Turbine Hall. He’s an artist and composer who invents musical instruments that double as sculptures, so figuring out what you’re looking at is only part of the job: there’s also the question of what noise it makes.

The best marketing ideas come from marketers who live it. That’s what The Marketing Millennials delivers: real insights, fresh takes, and no fluff. Written by Daniel Murray, a marketer who knows what works, this newsletter cuts through the noise so you can stop guessing and start winning. Subscribe and level up your marketing game.

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Humdinger Words for Whippersnappers & Guttersnipes, Will BF: Moon Team IIIV and The Magic Sweet Jar at Lambeth Fringe
For dates, times, venues and age guidance, see separate events below

Question: what do Simon Cowell, William Blake, David Bowie, Charlie Chaplin, Ken Livingstone and Catherine Howard have in common?

If you answered, “Who are people who have never been in my kitchen?” please let’s be friends. The other correct answer is that they’ve all lived in Lambeth or were born there.

Lambeth is also home to, as you might expect, the Lambeth Fringe. It started life as the Clapham Fringe at the Bread & Roses Theatre, before expanding further across south London.

And “fringe”? “Fringe” festivals owe their name to the eight theatre companies who turned up uninvited to the Edinburgh International Festival in 1947 and put on their shows anyway. That’s the kind of chutzpah I aspire to have when I’m older. (Or maybe I need to get younger. Damn: am I too late for chutzpah?)

These days, you can take part in a fringe festival without first being snubbed by a more prestigious one. They’re generally a chance for performers to try things out, put on smaller productions and find an audience – including for shows that might struggle to get a booking elsewhere.

You might associate fringe performances with words, body parts and conversations you’d rather not introduce to an eight-year-old just yet. But there are family-friendly shows too, so you can take the children without spending the interval asking them not to repeat anything at school.

A few to consider:

Humdinger Words for Whippersnappers & Guttersnipes
Saturday 17 October, 14:30
West Norwood Library & Picturehouse, 1–7 Norwood High Street, SE27 9JU
Adults £10, under-18s £8
Age guidance: 8+

A former stage hypnotist who’s now a primary school teacher, Ben Dali combines wordplay, balloon modelling and improvised rhyming mind-reading in a comedy and poetry show. Children can bring their own poetry for the final show-and-tell.

Will BF: Moon Team IIIV
Saturday 17 October, 14:30
The Bread & Roses Theatre, 68 Clapham Manor Street, SW4 6DZ
Adults £10, under-18s £8
Mild language; no age guidance provided

A prince called Apollo Moon assembles a team to save the galaxy from a tax on its richest inhabitants, with help from an ever-growing fish, an all-knowing rat and a telepathic space flower who chooses not to speak. The show mixes sketches with a spoof documentary about making a film sequel – although the original film never existed. It’s all a send-up of Star Wars and its sequels.

The Magic Sweet Jar
Saturday 17 October, 12:00
Vauxhall City Farm, 165 Tyers Street, SE11 5HS
Adults £8, under-18s £6
Age guidance: 6+

A girl lands in a world of lemonade seas and peppermint mountains, then teams up with a chocolate friend to defeat the Sugar King. The story is told through puppets and songs, with plenty of opportunities for children to join in.

Find out more:

Family Activity: Messages from the Heart
Saturday 17 October, 11:00
St Martin-in-the-Fields, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 4JJ
FREE – no booking required
Age guidance: 5–13

Quite a few of London’s historic institutions put on “family days”– either to reassure us that children are always welcome, or to tolerate them on specific dates, at specific times, in specific rooms where someone’s had a chance to move the priceless stuff. I’m generally happy with either arrangement: the events are usually free or very cheap, which means I get to look around somewhere magnificent without paying a fortune for visitor tickets.

Family day programmes can vary enormously. Westminster Abbey puts on crafts, storytelling and family trails, and the Royal Courts of Justice runs mock trials in actual courtrooms as part of its annual Open House day. The British Library’s events, meanwhile, are so sought-after that they’re often booked up in minutes. But at the less ambitious ones, there’s a box of Lego and someone who looks quite terrified when you ask what else is happening.

I’ve been to one family drop-in at St Martin-in-the-Fields, and it was admittedly closer to the Lego end. It was one of the first they’d ever run, though, so I’m hoping they’ve since realised that inviting children into their glorious church to pile wooden blocks on top of each other is a bit of a wasted opportunity.

This next one sounds more promising. First, you get to find out whether your children can operate a CD player, record player or cassette deck. Then let them choose and play music from the church’s archive of vintage recordings, before working together as a family to record a message to share with the world.

Why is this relevant to St Martin’s? Even before radio, you could listen to its services through an Electrophone – a system that carried live sound over telephone lines. In 1924, the BBC broadcast its first live church service from here, and the church went on to use broadcasts to raise money through its Christmas Appeal. So sharing a message with people outside the building has quite a history here. Your family’s contribution is unlikely to be the most important, but then I don’t know what you’re planning to say: it could be world-changing.

Find out more: https://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/whats-on/family-activity-messages-from-the-heart

👍️ I maaaaay have forgotten to mention this new(ish) exhibition at the National Gallery – over the road from St Martin-in-the-Fields. It’s called Renoir and Love, and luckily, you have more than enough time to see it and forgive me: it’s on until the end of January.

It brings together 40 paintings of people dancing, flirting, spending time with their families and having a drink with friends, including the famous Bal au Moulin de la Galette, on display in the UK for the first time. Under-18s go free.

This section brings together both new events I don’t have room to expand on and selected older ones from past newsletters that are still running. If you see a “(see my write-up here)”, that’s your cue to click through and rediscover whatever Past Me felt strongly enough to write about.

Larger Than Life: Starring Wallace & Gromit, Shaun and More (full review coming soon!)
Daily until 4 January, various timeslots throughout the day
Lightroom, 12 Lewis Cubitt Square, N1C 4DY
Adults £25, 3–18s £15, under-3s free
Age guidance: “Younger children need to be supervised in the space and we ask that parents are considerate of the experience for all our guests.”

Bingo Saturdays
Saturday 17 October, 13:00
The Albany, Douglas Way, Deptford, SE8 4AG
FREE
Age guidance: Suitable for all

Salman Toor: Someone Like You
Daily until 10 January, 10:00–18:00
Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 0RN
Adults £16, under-19s free (includes the permanent collection)

Family Film Club: Kiki’s Delivery Service (dubbed)
Saturday 17 October, 11:00
Barbican Cinema 2, Beech Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £5, under-18s £2.50
Age guidance: 6+

Renoir and Love
Daily until 31 January, 10:00–18:00 (Friday until 21:00)
National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN
Adults £25, under-18s free

Ed Vere – Waffles & Julius
Sunday 18 October, 10:00
Merton Arts Space at Wimbledon Library, 35 Wimbledon Hill Road, SW19 7NB
Adults £10, under-12s £7.50
Age guidance: 3+

The Luck Child and Other Strange Tales – Daniel Morden
Saturday 17 October, 14:00
Jacksons Lane Arts Centre, 269a Archway Road, N6 5AA
£12.50 per person
Age guidance: 8+

The Quest for Planet P
Saturday 17 October, 11:00 and 14:00
Half Moon Young People’s Theatre, 43 White Horse Road, E1 0ND
£9 per person
Age guidance: 3–11

Nick Cope Family Show
Sunday 18 October, 11:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, North Finchley, N12 0GA
£15 per person
Age guidance: 3+

Surinderella
Saturday 17 October, 14:30 and 19:30; Sunday 18 October, 18:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, North Finchley, N12 0GA
£15 per person
Age guidance: 3+

Family Festival: Stories, Sign and Shine
Saturday 17 October, 12:00–16:00
British Library, 96 Euston Road, NW1 2DB
FREE – no booking required
Age guidance: suitable for all

Larger Than Life: Starring Wallace & Gromit, Shaun and More
14 October–4 January, various timeslots each day
Lightroom, 12 Lewis Cubitt Square, N1C 4DY
Adults from £25, 3–17s from £15, under-3s free in selected slots
Age guidance: suitable for all

High School Musical
12 October–3 January, various performance times
Troubadour Wembley Park Theatre, 3 Fulton Road, Wembley, HA9 0SP
£35–£199 (!) per person
Age guidance: 6+; under-3s not admitted

LAIKA presents Wildwood: The Exhibition
Until 10 January, 10:00–17:00 Monday–Thursday and 10:00–18:00 Friday–Sunday
Design Museum, 224–238 Kensington High Street, W8 6AG
Adults £17.09, 6–15s £8.55, under-6s free

Pokémon Space Trail (see my write-up here)
Daily until 3 January, 10:00–18:00
Science Museum, Exhibition Road, SW7 2DD
FREE – but you need to book a free admission ticket to enter

Robert Ryman: The Real Thing (see my write-up here)
Tuesday–Sunday until 28 February, 10:00–17:00 (until 19:00 on Thursdays and Fridays)
Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £20.50, under-16s free

Jesús Rafael Soto: Pénétrable BBL Jaune (see my write-up here)
Until 25 October, Tuesday–Sunday, 10:00–18:00
Beside Serpentine South, Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA
FREE

Petit Pierre From Transylvania
Weekends and half term until 1 November, 11:00 and 15:00
The Well Walk Theatre, 49 Willow Road, NW3 1TS
£15.90 per person
Age guidance: 3+

Es Devlin: Other Worlds (see my write-up here)
Until 4 April, 10:00–18:00 (until 17:00 Monday–Thursday)
Design Museum, 224–238 Kensington High Street, W8 6AG
Adults £21, 6–15s £11, under-6s free

Metamorphoses: Porcelain Sculpture by Rachel Kneebone
Daily until 25 April, 10:00–17:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE

The 90s: Art and Fashion (full write-up coming soon!)
Daily until 14 February, 10:00–18:00
Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG
Adults £22, 12–18s £5, under-12s free

Toto (semi-write-up above!)
Weekends and half term until 1 November, 11:00 and/or 13:00 and/or 14:00
Polka Theatre, 240 The Broadway, SW19 1SB
£10 or £19 per person
Age guidance: 3–8

Jenkin van Zyl: Enclosure
Tuesday–Sunday until 29 November, various timeslots each day
Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA
FREE – booking required
Age guidance: 13+

Everest: The First Ascent – An immersive experience in London
Wednesday–Sunday (and daily during half term) until 31 December, 10:00 or 11:00–19:00
Eclipso Immersive Entertainment, 213–219 Camden High Street, NW1 7BT
Adults £27.50, 8–17s £21.50 (family bundles and London resident pricing also available)
Age guidance: children must be 8+

Ghosts & Ghouls Family Tour
Various dates until 30 January, various times (see website)
Shakespeare’s Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1 9DT
Adults £23, under-16s £18

Winnie-the-Pooh at London Zoo
Until 1 November, 10:00–17:00 (until 16:00 from 24 October)
London Zoo, Outer Circle, Regent's Park, NW1 4RY
Free with admission (adults £31.80, 3–15s £22.20, under-3s free)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Ossie Clark + Celia Birtwell
Tuesday–Saturday until 11 April, 11:00–18:00
Fashion and Textile Museum, 83 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3XF
Adults £12, 12–17s £10, under-12s free

Korea
Daily until 31 January, 10:00–17:00 (Fridays until 20:30)
British Museum, Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG
Adults £20, under-16s free

Body Worlds: The Anatomy of Happiness
Until 21 March, various timeslots each day
Sussex Mansions, 79–85 Old Brompton Road, SW7 3LD
Adults £24.61, 6–17s £16.05 (family bundles also available)
Age guidance: suitable for all (“Note that some exhibits and installations contain mature content, so parental discretion is advised.)

Amar Kanwar Exhibition
Until 31 January, Tuesday–Sunday 10:00–17:00
Serpentine North, West Carriage Drive, W2 2AR
FREE, but booking required

Pip and Posy Live on Stage
Until 22 November, various start times (see website)
Little Angel Theatre, 14 Dagmar Passage, N1 2DN
Adults £16, 1–17s £14
Age guidance: 2–5

The Pied Piper: A Rat's Tale
Until 7 November, various start times – see website
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
Adults £16, 1–17s £14 (all tickets are £8 this Saturday 12/Sunday 13 September)
Age guidance: 5+

As You Like It (see my write-up here)
Until 25 October, various start times – see website
Shakespeare’s Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1 9DT
Standing tickets £10, seated £28–£88
Age guidance: suitable for all