🎺 9 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (8–9 November)

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Hey DILFs!

Want to get more bang for your buck at London Zoo? You’re in luck! Next time your kids guilt-trip you into remortgaging the house to see something furry eating something less furry behind glass, you can make the most of it with ZooTown.

Set inside the zoo’s old Reptile House, ZooTown is a brand-new indoor role-play adventure for kids aged 3–8. It’s basically a miniature version of the zoo that’s run entirely by children – a sort of KidZania (RIP) with capybaras. They can try their hand at being zookeepers, vets, conservationists, scientists, posties, presenters and more, moving from one brightly designed station to the next.

There’s a Vet Hospital for scanning toy animals’ microchips, a Keeper Kitchen for mixing up pretend feeds, and a postal service for delivering zoo mail. And then there’s the bit everyone talks about: the room where a pair of zebra bottoms cheerfully poop out brown plastic balls all over the floor.

Tickets are £1 a child (plus the minor matter of zoo entry), and sessions last 45 minutes. It’s an inspired way to break up a long day of animal-watching – and a reminder that sometimes the best bit of the zoo doesn’t actually involve any animals at all. Which, if you ask me, is a strong argument for turning the whole thing into soft play and calling it a day.

And now for other bits and bobs you can do this weekend…

Enjoy!

Jeff xx

​​1: Get lost between oil, flesh and metal in Saatchi’s big birthday bash for itself

The Long Now: Saatchi Gallery At 40
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–16:30 (and daily until 1 March)
Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York’s HQ, King’s Road, SW3 4RY
Adults £15, 6–16s £10, under-6s free

At first I didn’t understand the name of the exhibition: The Long Now sounds like something you might say about the last five minutes of Paw Patrol when you’ve already seen the episode 14 times. In reality, it’s about what lasts and what doesn’t – the things that vanish in a blink versus the things that sit around forever (usually in a “this can’t be good for the environment” kind of way).

“The Long Now” might also refer to the moment halfway through when you realise you’ve still got six galleries left: the exhibition spans two floors and nine exhibition spaces, and is therefore not necessarily a whizz-around job.

One must-see is Richard Wilson’s 20:50 – a whole gallery filled waist-high with used engine oil. You walk a narrow gangway through it, and the surface reflects the ceiling so perfectly that it feels like you’re floating in a void. The official line is that it’s about fragility and disorientation. Which it is, although it’s also about not sneezing at the wrong moment and ending up shin-deep in the stuff. Either way, it’s a decent metaphor for the present: everything looks stable until one wobble proves it isn’t.

Other works lean on the opposite idea – the things that refuse to disappear. Allan Kaprow piles tyres in a gallery, which at first looks like a cheerful playground until you remember tyres never rot. Ibrahim Mahama stitches together hundreds of old cocoa sacks and drapes them across the walls, so what looks like patchwork is actually a ledger of trade, labour and waste. Edward Burtynsky shows vast photographs of mines gouged out of the earth – landscapes permanently chewed up in the name of progress. None of it is subtle, but that’s fine: I’ve had my fill of abstract blobs pretending to be capitalism.

Bodies get their turn too. Jenny Saville (I said JENNY Saville) paints flesh at a scale that makes it hard to know what you’re looking at – arms, legs, folds, all pressed together into a wall of skin. It’s messy and unavoidable, like standing too close to someone on the Tube. Maybe it fits into this exhibition because flesh sticks around whether you want it to or not. Or maybe not – I’m completely out of my depth on this one.

And then there’s the spectacle – such as a golden car hung upside down, slowly rotating above your head. It makes you feel like you’re witnessing a profoundly deep truth, but also like someone won a grant to dangle a Lotus Elite on a hook. It’s probably a bit of both.

Does it all add up to one neat statement about “the long now”? Not really. But that’s half the point of a Saatchi sprawl. Some pieces vanish from your brain the moment you leave; others stick like oil, or tyres, or mining scars. And that’s the long now for you: half gone in a flash, half impossible to get rid of.

Find out more: https://www.saatchigallery.com/exhibition/the-long-now-saatchi-gallery-at-40

While you’re there…

👍️ Chelsea Physic Garden is a short walk away (note: it’s not open on Saturdays). The four-acre space been around since 1673, and is home to over 4,500 medicinal, edible and useful plants.

👍️ The National Army Museum is the reason I last traipsed to this part of the world, and it was definitely worth it. The place is incredibly family-friendly, and the items have been curated in a really clever, thoughtful way.

2: Climb above the South Bank for fairy lights and festive fun

Queen Elizabeth Hall Roof Garden
Saturday 12:00–21:00 and Sunday 12:00–18:00 (also Thursdays and Fridays 15:00–21:00; open until 28 December)
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Free – no booking required

As I write this, the rain is whacking the window so hard I’m half expecting the glass to give up entirely. It’s been bucketing for hours, the wind is howling, and basically it’s the exact opposite of the kind of day you’d choose to talk about an outdoor roof garden in London.

And yet, here we are: the Southbank Centre’s much-loved rooftop escape is opening for the festive season for the very first time.

It’s a lovely spot – perched on top of the Queen Elizabeth Hall, with wild plants, city views, and a bar to help you make the most of both. The garden was originally created with the Eden Project and is still cared for by Grounded Ecotherapy, a team of volunteers who know how to turn planting and pruning into something genuinely restorative.

But what about winter? They’re covering their bases: festive lights, a pop-up drinks area pouring mulled wine, and the Roof Garden Bar & Kitchen serving its debut winter menu – roast turkey flatbreads, pigs in blankets, baked camembert, stews and more. The whole place is outdoors, but there are heaters, blankets and big canopy tents… which will obviously do absolutely nothing if the weather decides to go full British winter. But it’s fiiine: half a glass of hot cider and you won’t even realise you can’t feel your toes.

Find out more: https://southbank.london/news/coming-up-in-south-bank-this-christmas

While you’re there…

👍️ The Southbank Centre’s winter market has just opened too. I have a bit of a soft spot for this particular winter market: it just feels more Christmassy than the others you find in London.

There’s food and drinks galore sold from the cute little Alpine-style chalets that stretch along the Queen’s Walk promenade, some of it more festive than others: duck wraps, Po-Boy sandwiches, Himalayan dumplings, classic hot dogs, Yorkshire Pudding wraps, Dutch pancakes, churros, cookies, mulled wine, hot chocolate and more. You’ll also find a load of gift stalls with jewellery, decorations and clothing all made by independent creators.

3: See the City go gloriously car-free for a day of brass bands and dancing solicitors

The Lady Mayor’s Show
Saturday 8 November, 11:00–14:30
Various places to go; see below (and website) for more information
Free – no booking required

For the first time in its 800-year history, the City will stage a Lady Mayor’s Show – and not just because Dame Susan Langley is only the third woman ever to get the job. She’s also the first to insist on the title Lady Mayor rather than the inherited Lord. She’ll take office in the Silent Ceremony on 7 November, then ride out in style the next day to swear loyalty to the Crown.

The tradition goes back to 1215, when King John was losing his French territories, running out of money and facing open revolt from his barons – so he tried to lock in London’s support with a Royal Charter. The deal was this: the City would get to elect its own mayor and in return, the new mayor had to trek to Westminster each year and swear loyalty to the Crown. London was the cash and trade hub, so it made sense to keep them onside: win the City and you steady your throne, but lose it and your enemies get the purse strings.

That annual oath is still the whole point of the show. But over the years, the three-mile trek to Westminster has turned into a full-blown procession with over 7,000 participants, 16 marching bands and floats ranging from solemn to surreal. Expect everything from the Glass Sellers’ Cinderella carriage to lycra-clad dancing solicitors, not to mention giant inflatable ribs and the Lady Mayor herself riding in the 18th-century State Coach.

Where to watch it depends on your temperament. For the full crush of crowds, noise and BBC cameras, head to the Bank–St Paul’s stretch between 11:00 and noon. If you’d rather breathe, the return leg along the Embankment from 13:15 onwards has wider pavements and more elbow room. Or, if you’re making a day of it, stick around to watch the Lady Mayor return to Mansion House at 14:30, complete with salutes, presenting of arms and medieval pageantry from the Pikemen.

Eight centuries on, the show stays stubbornly alive. It’s survived the Plague, the Great Fire, the Blitz and the occasional Times editorial predicting its death. It even shows up in Shakespeare, Canaletto, Hogarth and Pepys (who described the pageants as “poor and absurd” but did enjoy the ladies and the wine). In 2020, Covid cancelled it for the first time since 1852 (when it gave way to Wellington’s funeral). Otherwise, the Lord Mayor – now Lady Mayor – has never failed to turn up, swear allegiance, and process through the streets with suitable pomp.

Find out more: https://lordmayorsshow.london/

While you’re there…

Once the procession is over you’ll find yourself in the middle of a car-free City with a few hours of daytime left. So… what to do?

👍️ Between 15:00 and 16:00, the official City of London Guides will be leading guided walks from No1 Poultry (opposite Mansion House), leaving at regular intervals throughout the hour. Guided walks last about 60 minutes and are completely free: just turn up and get guided.

👍️ There’ll be free family-friendly crafts and activities taking place inside Guildhall Arts Gallery. If you want to mooch around the gallery while you’re there, it contains paintings of previous mayoral processions, as well as TONS of artwork depicting London throughout the centuries.

👍️ Leadenhall Market’s craft fair, which “brings together a handpicked selection of jewellery, art, home accessories, children’s toys and more” from independent artists and makers, will be operating between 12:00 and 17:00. I’ve been before and picked up a fair few Christmas presents from here: it’s ace.

👍️ You can get a visit the Billingsgate Roman House and Baths – which was first built around AD 150. It was occupied right through to the end of Roman London in the early 5th century AD, and is considered one of London’s best-preserved archaeological remains. Access is by guided tour only (I presume because we can’t be trusted on our own) and suitable for children aged 8+. You can book here (but book quickly: tickets for this weekend are going fast).

4: See Goldilocks flipped on its head in a physical comedy that turns porridge into performance art

The Three Bears
Sunday 9 November, 11:30 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£13.75 per person
Age guidance: 3+

We were watching an old episode of Only Connect the other evening, and one of the “Connections” rounds questions showed the following:

Once you figure out (as the contestants did) that the pictures represent “oyster BEDS”, “BOWLS”, “PORRIDGE” and “THREE BEARS”, it’s pretty obvious what the connection is.

“Little Red Riding Hood,” answered the team. “YOU EFFING IDIOTS!!!!” we screamed, furious that the smiling, clever-looking men had either skipped childhood or made the baffling decision to erase it. Because love it, hate it, or on-the-fence about it, EVERYONE knows the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

You may need to swot up on the original version before heading to this show, because it’s a remake in which a lot is flipped on its head – and that’s where most of the humour is hiding. There’ll be slapstick chaos and a bunch of creative twists, and it’s a large non-verbal performance – which means they can’t fall back on lame puns, silly rhymes or the kind of bottom jokes that get a guaranteed laugh in a primary school classroom. The humour has to come from the bodies: it’s the sort of physical precision where you blink and wonder how no one actually lost a tooth.

It’s co-produced by Daryl & Co – a disabled-led children's theatre company whose “vision is a world where Disabled artists and young people have unrestricted choices to creative experiences and careers”. I’ve seen a trailer and it looks marvellous: porridge being eaten like it’s a synchronised swim, bodies colliding like a well-rehearsed accident, and all manner of business you won’t find in the bedtime version. It’s as much choreography as chaos, and all the better for it.

Find out more: https://www.artsdepot.co.uk/event/the-three-bears-2/

While you’re there…

👍️ Clowntown isn’t far away. Setting aside the lack of clowns, it’s exactly what you imagine: a huge indoor play space with soft play, ball ponds, slides, toddler areas, arcades and sensory zones.

5: Stand nose-to-snout with nature’s finest show-offs

Wildlife Photographer of the Year
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:50 (and daily until 12 July)
Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD
Adults £18, 4–17s £9, under-4s free

Portrait photographers have it easy. You plonk a person in a chair, fix the light while they scroll Instagram, and eventually get the shot. Wildlife Photographer of the Year is another universe. No one told the ibex to strike a silhouette on a misty mountain, or the spider to crawl neatly into a halo of car headlights. The rattlesnake didn’t wait for the moon to be just right, and the caracal certainly didn’t arrange its flamingo dinner to look like modern sculpture.

The lengths people go to for these pictures is half the story: freezing nights, hours of waiting, equipment balanced in places you wouldn’t dare set foot. And then there’s the authenticity test – every image here has to pass a forensic process to prove it isn’t stitched together or conjured by AI. Which is just as well, because when you see a hyena prowling a ghost town, or a fishing vessel glowing in the dark sea like a floating cathedral, you do start to wonder if nature hasn’t been cheating with special effects.

The exhibition itself is no small feat either. Now in its sixth decade, Wildlife Photographer of the Year draws more than 60,000 entries annually from across the globe, all whittled down to a few dozen jaw-dropping winners. The categories cover everything from “Animals in their Environment” to “Urban Wildlife” to “Natural Artistry” – so you might find yourself nose-to-snout with a rattlesnake one moment, then marvelling at the geometry of a fungus the next.

So yes, the Natural History Museum has made sure these aren’t fakes. But standing in front of them, you may have to remind yourself they’re real anyway – and then quietly resent the fact that an orb weaver spider gets a glamour shot on a motorway bridge, and you can’t even get one decent photo of your lot in front of the Christmas tree.

Find out more: https://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit/exhibitions/wildlife-photographer-of-the-year.html

6–9: More, more, more, more!

Things Scientists Don’t Know Yet
Saturday 8 November, 14:00–15:15
The Royal Institution of Great Britain, 21 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BS
Adults £17.27, under-17s £11.02
Age guidance: suitable for all

“Have you ever wondered how the universe will end? What about why we dream? Or even why are there so many beetles?! Join author Peter Gallivan to explore the curious and surprising corners of science like these, places where we don't quite know the answers...yet!

Peter will take you on a voyage of discovery to the edges of uncertainty, showcasing just how scientists actually work to uncover new facts about the world and beyond. The Ri demo team will also be on hand to help bring to life these at times head-scratching topics.”

Saturday Sessions: Breakin' with Rain Crew
Saturday 8 November, 13:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Free – no booking required
Age guidance: 5–11

“Saturday Sessions are the perfect place to start the weekend. On a monthly basis you can enjoy a piece of art, make something new along with the artists and create with other children and their families – all for free!

In this session, Rain Crew introduces us to the art of breaking, with moments of workshop, moments of showcase and moments to share and move together, with DJ Kofi Mingo, Bboy Chilly and Mitchell Taunton.

Stick around afterwards for a freestyle Ballroom Boogie with Toasty Tots XL to get you moving into the weekend, with DJ tracks, dancing and games for all the family.”

Ballroom Boogie x Toasty Tots XL
Saturday 8 November, 14:45
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Free – no booking required
Age guidance: 5–11

“Join us for an hour of proper family fun featuring DJ sets, singalongs, dance breaks and feel-good tunes for all ages, all in one joyful, welcoming space.

Toasty Tots! was co-founded by three mums from BORN N BREAD Collective to create an inclusive hangout for parents, carers and their little ones to vibe, dance and unwind together. Now they’re turning it up with Toasty Tots XL, the big kid edition for 5 – 11 year-olds (and their grown-ups).”

Field of Remembrance 2025
Saturday and Sunday, 08:30–18:00 (and daily until 16 November)
Westminster Abbey, 20 Dean’s Yard, SW1P 3PA (entrance to the Field is at the West Gate)
Free – no booking required

“Visit the field of scarlet poppies and memorials which will blanket the Abbey’s grounds this November to remember loved ones lost serving in the Armed Forces.

Now in its 97th year, the Field of Remembrance has been taking place every November since 1928 when The Poppy Factory took a group of disabled veterans, a tray of poppies and a collecting tin to the grounds of St Margaret's Church at the Abbey.

Only a handful of poppies were planted around a single cross, but it began a tradition that has grown over the decades and now tens of thousands of poppies on wooden crosses and tributes are planted every year.

Remembrance Sunday service: The annual Service of Commemoration and Thanksgiving will be held in the Abbey at 10:50 on Sunday 9 November.”