🦪 7 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (23–25 August)

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Hey DILFs!

In case you’re interested, there’s a new cafe housed inside a repurposed train carriage in Stratford – and it’s staffed by people who are deaf or hard of hearing. When you place an order, you’re invited to use British Sign Language (with help from easy-to-follow instructions on an iPad if you need it).

It looks fantastic! There’s even a little garden area for yoga and other events.

It’s being operated by a local social enterprise called Dialogue Hub, and provides skills, training and employment for the deaf community in the area.

You can find it on Gibbons Road – just behind Stratford Station, and a short walk from Discover Children’s Story Centre.

So that’s one idea for the long weekend; here are a few more!

Happy reading,

Jeff xx

1: Replace the weekend chores with 10+ hours of belly dance, Costa Rican folk, vintage jazz and more

Bring the Dance You Have (Saturday)
Bring the Dance You Have (Sunday)
Saturday and Sunday, 12:00–22:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no booking required
Age guidance: suitable for all ages

Oh, it’s Emma Warren again! Last weekend, her dual nationality was the inspiration behind an Irish knees-up at the Southbank Centre. This time, it’s her book, Dance Your Way Home, that’s sparked a weekend of dance performances and workshops — the grand finale in a summer-long run of Warren-fuelled events.

I’m still not entirely sure why the Southbank Centre is having a summer fling with Ms Warren, but after reading what’s in store on Saturday and Sunday, she could be the queue-jumper in front of me at Tesco for all I care – it looks like the best way to let loose and throw your last shapes before the summer’s over.

And it really does feel like it’s for everyone. Boomers will say “Sounds great: count me in”; Gen Xers will be “down with that”; Millennials will be “here for it”; Gen Zs will declare “it’s giving slay”; and your Gen Alpha children will almost certainly shout “Let’s gooooo!” – or, more likely, “NO! I don’t want to go out. I want to stay HERE.” Which roughly translates to “Let’s gooooo… after ten minutes of pointless negotiation.”

The performances and workshops cover all kinds of styles and vibes, from serene hand gestures to knees-up chaos. On Saturday we have the likes of belly dance; odissi (classical dance from eastern India) and manipuri (classical dance from north-eastern India); flamenco; soca (high-energy Caribbean carnival style) and soul line dancing (think synchronised grooving to r&b); plus contemporary and youth street styles – which I shouldn’t attempt to copy for the sake of my children’s second-hand embarrassment, but probably will anyway.

Sunday is just as eclectic, with plenty of overlap with Saturday’s line-up. But instead of belly dance and soca, there’s bharatanatyam (classical dance from southern India) and Bollywood. And you’ll get vintage jazz chorus lines and Costa Rican folk in place of soul line dancing, plus a spot of shag (the dance).

It’s ten-and-a-half hours PER DAY of entertainment, and it’s all completely free – though your knees might bill you for wear and tear.

Find out more:

• Saturday: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/bring-the-dance-you-have-saturday/
  Sunday: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/bring-the-dance-you-have-sunday/

While you’re there…

👍️ There’s an about-to-end exhibition at the Southbank Centre called Freudian Typo. I’m hoping to make it there in time, because it’s been on my must-visit list for ages now.

According to the Southbank Centre, Freudian Typo is a playful, pun-filled way to show how the English language – especially the kind used in business, banking and property – quietly shapes the way we think about land, bodies and truth. It suggests that language isn’t neutral: the words we use around debt, ownership and value help reinforce systems that benefit some and deprive others.

Throughout the exhibition, the artists draw on old English nursery rhymes such as The Old Woman and Her Pig and This Is the House That Jack Built to show how innocent-seeming little songs are in fact full of ideas about money, exchange, debt and things going wrong – and how these long-standing storylines still echo in today’s language of ownership, risk and collapse.

I realise this entire thing doesn’t sound very “playful”, but given there’s a sculpture of a government cat involved, I’m assuming it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

👍️ Vaulty Towers is a puntastic nearby pub that doubles up as a sort of retirement home for theatre paraphernalia.

After a production has finished its run, stage props, puppets, pieces of set and scenery, costumes and lighting make their way to the pub and become part of the interior decor. You might find yourself sitting inside a treehouse, a ridiculously high bar stool, a huge crescent moon, and so on. Everything is swapped out every six months or so, and even the crazy exterior gets repainted frequently.

There are comedy nights, live music, life drawing, and a weekly quiz that isn’t for wusses: it involves “lunges, punishments, liquid rewards, trivial trivia, dance-offs, lip-sync battles, jackpots” and “weird bits”.

2: Turn a humble oyster shell into a William Morris masterpiece

Family Day: Oyster Shell Art
Saturday 23 August, 13:00–16:00
William Morris Gallery, Lloyd Park, Forest Road, E17 4PP
FREE – no booking required
Age guidance: 5+

I know that “art” covers a lot – from an unmade bed or a couple of colour blocks on a canvas to a painting so detailed you can count every hair in a horse’s tail. And I know it’s fine for a banana duct-taped to a wall to sell for the same as a seven-bedroom moated country house with a cellar, swimming pool, tennis court, stables, woodland, rose garden, three cottages and a view (£4.9m, which now feels like a bargain – for the house, not the banana).

What I’m saying in the most roundabout way possible is that art takes many forms – but sometimes it’s nice to see work where the skill, elbow grease and time are right there on the surface. William Morris’s textiles were like that. While most manufacturers in the late 19th century used roller printing and chemical dyes, he stuck to hand block-printing with natural dyes. That meant printing each colour separately, and using a resist (wax or paste) to keep certain areas dye-free. His Strawberry Thief print – based on thrushes nicking fruit from his garden – was even more labour-intensive because it used indigo, which only turns blue after repeated cycles of dipping and being left out to oxidise.

This workshop takes Strawberry Thief (and a few other famous Morris designs, like Seaweed) as its starting point. You won’t be standing over an indigo vat or waiting days for colours to set – instead you’ll be working with oyster shells, gold paint, decoupage paper (patterned paper for decorative layering) and gilded edges (thin metal leaf or metallic paint) to make something richly patterned and unmistakably Morris, but without the faff or drying time.

And while you’re there, you can nose around the rest of the William Morris Gallery: it’s free, and you’ll find it in the Georgian house where Morris grew up. It’s packed with his designs as well as a few changing exhibitions, and it backs straight onto Lloyd Park if you fancy a stroll.

Find out more: https://www.wmgallery.org.uk/event/family-day-oyster-shell-art/

While you’re there…

👍️ Lloyd Park (mentioned above) is lovely for a wander.

3: Discover smart solutions for everyday barriers

Design and Disability
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:45 (and daily until 15 February)
V&A South Kensington, Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL
Adults £14, 12–1​​7s £9, under-12s free
Age guidance: 5+

OK I’ll bite. There’s a glaring irony about this exhibition being held at the V&A: the nearest tube is South Kensington, which STILL DOESN’T HAVE STEP-FREE ACCESS. Bad enough with a buggy; I can only imagine the nightmare if you’re in a wheelchair and trying to get to any of the museums on Exhibition Road.

Which is a shame, because once you’re inside, Design and Disability is all about removing barriers. It’s packed with things you might not even think of as “design” until you see them — a harness that lets deaf gig-goers feel bass in their chest, a chaise longue that “hugs” you for sensory feedback, the original fidget spinner (created for autistic and other neurodivergent people), a bike with a built-in leg brace, a self-tying shoe, and even a hands-free vibrator you may wish to hurry past before the kids start asking questions. Some are one-offs hacked together at home; others are big-brand products made better because a disabled employee was in the room.

It’s not all gadgets. There’s protest gear too – like a “Piss on Pity” t-shirt from a 1990 protest against patronising charity telethons, and photos of activists blocking buses during the Campaign for Accessible Transport. The point is clear: disabled lives aren’t just about “overcoming” things: they’re political, creative and worth showing on their own terms.

A great little film shows performance and video artist Katherine Araniello parodying Channel 4’s Meet the Superhumans campaign for the 2012 Paralympic Games. In her version, she’s smoking, eating junk food and glugging champagne – a deadpan send-up of the ad’s “inspirational” framing, and a reminder that disabled people shouldn’t need a triumph-over-tragedy storyline to be valued.

Nothing about Design & Disability is dour or depressing. It’s angry at times, and shows frustration, but it’s mostly upbeat and positive – celebrating the joy in problem-solving and in reshaping a world to fit you better.

The only thing missing? Step-free access at South Kensington tube. Until that’s sorted, it feels a bit like being invited in but told to mind the gap.

Find out more: https://www.vam.ac.uk/exhibitions/design-and-disability

While you’re there…

👍️ If you’re able to walk through the tunnel that connects South Kensington station to all the museums, you’ll notice an unbearable number of ads for the Cartier exhibition, which is still on at the V&A. That might explain why an entrance ticket costs so much (£29 for adults, £16 for 12–17s, free-thank-goodness for under-12s): it paid for all those posters. I have to admit, though, that it’s a thoroughly enjoyable and interesting exhibition.

It traces how Cartier went from crafting romantic trinkets for Napoleon’s cousin to kitting out royalty, heiresses and the odd pop star – all while borrowing from architecture, global design traditions and the decorative arts to define what wealth looked like (and still does). Alongside sketches and archive material, you can check out some of the most jaw-dropping jewels ever made – including coronation brooches, Grace Kelly’s engagement ring and a tiara last seen perched on Rihanna.

I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get tickets for this weekend, because – even though it’s been showing since mid-April – it’s still constantly sold out. If not, you should be able to get in next month.

4: Watch a witch, troll and ghost bungle their own evil plans

The Baddies
Saturday at 10:30, 13:00 and 15:30; Sunday at 10:30 and 13:00
Cadogan Hall, 5 Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ
£19.50–£28.50 per person (children under 2 years of age can share a seat with each full-paying adult)
Age guidance: 3+ (but all ages welcome)

Here’s a mini-hack for you: if you want to visit any of London’s most famous, most beautiful, most renowned and most historic venues but don’t want to spend the equivalent of a fortnight’s food shop at Fortnum & Mason to do so, find a children’s show or event to attend there instead.

Granted, it isn’t really the sort of thing you can show off about (so please don’t try): “We saw a superb postmodern interpretation of Teletubbies at the Royal Albert Hall over the weekend. The exploration of existential solitude through primary colours and the subversion of narrative form via unexpected custard distribution were a joy to behold.” Somehow, that just doesn’t work.

But if you’re not doing it for cultural cachet, if there isn’t a particular event or show you’d love to attend, and if you simply wish to experience the beauty and exceptional acoustics of a knockout venue – all while keeping the kids entertained – it’s perfect. And it’s how we’ve been able to check out the Royal Albert Hall, the Royal Opera House, Westminster Abbey, Globe Theatre and many others for cheap or even free.

Next up: Cadogan Hall, to see The Baddies. There are plenty of tickets available for £19.50, which isn’t cheap cheap, but a ballet there would set you back anywhere between £38 and £150. (Again, though: if you actually want to see ballet, The Baddies will not help you and you will 100% be disappointed.)

Equally or perhaps even more excitingly, this production actually looks great. It’s about a troll, a ghost and a witch who pride themselves on being the meanest and nastiest creatures in the world. When a sweet little girl moves into a cottage nearby, they decide to compete to see who can terrify her the most. I won’t spoil the ending, but let’s just say it doesn’t exactly rip up the rulebook when it comes to children’s stories. The moral is what you’d expect, and you won’t have to explain to anyone that, “In the real world, nice people win and baddies get punished.”

I haven’t been yet, but reviewers all agree that it’s been staged with real flair. There are songs that are both catchy and witty enough for adults to enjoy, combined with excellent choreography and perfectly timed physical comedy, “with a few cleverly staged scares which are intentionally giggle-inducing, rather than frightening”. All in all, it might just be one of the best Julia Donaldson adaptations yet.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY FROM THE START IT WAS A JULIA DONALDSON ADAPTATION???” I hear you exclaim.

Erm…

“You didn’t need to point out the venue OR the price OR the fact that the show is any good. You could have just said the words, ‘Julia Donaldson’ and we’d have been there like a shot.”

Oh.

Right. Next time I’ll save us both 400 words and just send you the booking link.

Find out more: https://cadoganhall.com/whats-on/the-baddies-2025/

While you’re there…

👍️ The Star Tavern in Belgravia is a quiet-looking pub that once served as HQ for the Great Train Robbery, the Profumo affair, and various other shenanigans.

In the 50s and 60s it was run by Paddy Kennedy – a landlord known for swearing at patrons, hurling out the unwelcome, and somehow attracting people like Princess Margaret, Bing Crosby and Lucian Freud... as well as professional safe-blowers.

Upstairs, in what’s now the not-so-secret bar, a gang of thieves plotted how to hijack a Royal Mail train and make off with £2.6 million – still one of the biggest heists in British history.

The carpets are cleaner now and the Maharaja of Baroda is no longer buying rounds, but it’s still worth a visit.

5: Enter your mutt in the least serious dog show ever (or just watch the mayhem)

Pooches & Pints Dog Show
Monday 25 August, 13:30–17:00
Big Penny Social, 1 Priestley Way, E17 6AL
FREE
Age guidance: suitable for all

If you’re lucky enough to own a dog in London, consider it your civic duty to enter this kind-of-dog-show-ish so the rest of us can awww our way into happiness.

Crufts this is not. Messy and loveable mongrels are just as welcome as their purebred and highly strung counterparts. There are prizes, but the categories look reassuringly tongue-in-cheek. One of the promo photos shows a DJ dressed as a dalmatian, while another has a dog looking doubtfully at a high jump pole. Basically: this is all just good fun. And there’s beer.

Got a dog? Bring it. Don’t? Bring yourselves. It’s free, it’s on bank holiday Monday, and it looks like the perfect way to spend it.

Find out more: https://bigpennysocial.co.uk/whats-on/pooches-and-pints-dog-show

While you’re there…

👍️ Walthamstow Wetlands is the main source of water supply for 3.5 million people, as well as an internationally important nature reserve that provides home and shelter to a range of wildlife. It’s a beautiful and peaceful area to visit, with plenty of walking paths and lots of bird-spotting to be had. Check out these photos for an idea of what it’s like.

6–7: More and more!

Big Penny Social Bank Holiday Party
Sunday 24 August, 12:00–00:00
FREE
Age guidance: suitable for all

“We’re throwing an all-day celebration packed with music, food and fun. And don't forget, Walthamstow-on-Sea is open as usual. Perfect for the whole family – expect deckchairs, sand, and ice cream for the little ones (and big ones too)!

Of course, if the weather takes a turn we'll take the party indoors. Please note we're an 18+ venue after 7pm.”

Fun DMC 10th Birthday
Monday 25 August, 12:00–14:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required
Age guidance: suitable for all

“FUN DMC’s resident DJ Spin Doctor spins everything from disco and garage to family friendly hip-hop and R&B. Plus, get moving and making music with dance instructors and a beatbox workshop.”