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🛁 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (25–26 January)

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Good morning! 

A couple of the events listed below are going to sell out FAST, so please don’t delay in booking them. I know it can be annoying when this happens, so I’m working on a solution that should please both the planners among us and those who only like to think ahead by a few days at a time. 

More info soon! 

Jeff xx

Winter Lights at Canary Wharf
Saturday and Sunday, 17:00–22:00 (and every day until 1 February)
Throughout Canary Wharf, E14
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

If you’re a regular reader of this newsletter, you’ll know that I struggle to appreciate many forms of contemporary art. When I look at an unmade bed or a shark in a tank of formaldehyde, a number of consecutive thoughts will invariably enter my mind. I call it the Grift Reaction Sequence: 

1: Why? Why is this art? 
2: I could have done that (or hired someone else to). My two-year-old could have done it too. A blindfolded squirrel could have done that. 
3: But I never would have thought to do that and call it art, and that’s why they’re worth $384 million and I’m… not. 
4: IT’S A GRIFT! 
5: But daaaaamn do I wish I had the imagination to do such griftilicious stuff myself. 

Case in point: “a stack of illuminated bathtubs”, which appears in this year’s Winter Lights Festival at Canary Wharf. It “pulses with light and sound”, and is one of 12 temporary illuminated installations you can visit right now. 

Because the bathtub hoarder is Czech, there’s a more detailed write-up on the Czech Centre’s website. It states that the “giant living sculpture” (hang on what) is “the artist’s response to the theme of water as a precious resource, connected with the principles of upcycling outdated bathtubs that are emblematic of socialist high-rise housing”. 

You might be wondering if ALL the art at the Winter Lights Festival is like this. I don’t think it is: the rest of it actually sounds pretty good. I mean, the explanations for some of it can feel like a bit of a stretch, but nowhere near as much as the one proclaiming that luminous plumbing counts as profound. Also, some of it is absolutely beautiful – so it doesn’t really matter what it’s about. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Not quite ready to shake off the festive period? The ice rink at Canary Wharf is still open, and – to coincide with Winter Lights – you’ll get a 30% discount on your tickets if you use the code LIGHTS30. 

👍️ I remember when the dining options in Canary Wharf were limited to an All Bar One (now closed), and a Pret in the underground shopping centre. These days, there are SO many places to eat and drink; here’s the full list

Story Festival
Saturday 25 January, 11:00–15:30
Young V&A, Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all (different activities are suitable for different age groups)

I always thought the Young V&A was, well, young. But nope: it’s been hanging around since 1872, which is just 20 years after the “main” V&A opened its doors in South Kensington. Admittedly, it’s been through a few names, collections and expensive renovations since it opened, but has concentrated primarily on childhood-related stuff since WWI ​​– which is still a bloomin’ long time ago. 

There must be many tales to tell about this place, but – TOTALLY NATURAL SEGUE ALERT! – this weekend’s Story Festival won’t be where you hear them. As interesting as it is to learn about the new entrance pavilion of 2006, with its “patterned elevations of red quartzite and brown porphyries”, I can’t imagine this kind of information will hold kids’ attention as much as the chance to “write a song with brilliant musicians”. 

The full itinerary is as follows, and it all sounds amazing: 

  • “Silly Stories – make a collage-based, quirky story with your family in Open Studio!”

  • “Write a song with the brilliant musicians from London Rhymes and come and hear their musical stories live in Town Square.”

  • “Take part in a kathak dance workshop with Akademi’s fantastic dancers – who will also share stories through dance in a pop-up performances.”

  • “Younger children, and those who prefer a quieter space, can join in a gentle exploration of stories through sensory objects and poetry in our learning centre.”

  • “Chickenshed theatre company present lively new stories, inspired by Young V&A’s collection, in a brand new inclusive theatre piece.”

  • “Find new stories in The Stage – with fun activities with our Play team, and screenings of new films made by teenagers from Young V&A Collective.”

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The Littlest Yak
Saturday 25 January, 11:00 and 13:00
Lyric Hammersmith Theatre, Lyric Square, King Street, W6 0QL
£10 per person
Lyric age guidance: 3+

I generally have no idea what’s going on in the world of children’s literature. Unless it’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Jolly Postman or Superfudge, I’ve never heard of it. 

… Which is why a story called The Littlest Yak has never been on my radar. To be fair to me, I don’t think it was on all but the most sensitive of radars until someone adapted it into a musical version for the stage – and now everyone’s LOVING it. It’s about Gertie, the eponymous space-efficient fluffball, who’s in a rush to grow up and be just like the big yaks. 

As you might expect, the moral of this puppet-based show is something along the lines of “everyone is great as they are”. Not entirely original, not entirely true (I’ve known some frankly horrific kids in my time), but something that many could benefit from hearing more of as they struggle with growing up and fitting in. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Dove pub has a fireplace, a riverside terrace, delicious food, and some impressive historical facts. For example: a public house has stood on the site since the 17th century; the poet James Thomson composed Rule Britannia here; Charles II romanced and dined his mistress Nell Gwynne here; and it has a Guinness World Record for the smallest bar room (no longer in use). 

Burns Night Crafternoon
Saturday 25 January, 10:30–13:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
Pay what you can – only purchase a ticket for your child
Woolwich Works age guidance: 2+

TICKETS ARE GOING FAST!

Following a quick Reddit perusal (which definitely counts as thorough research), I’m almost certain that Burns Night isn’t really a thing in England, Wales or Northern Ireland. I’ve also found some evidence to suggest that Burns Night is barely even a thing in Scotland anymore. 

But Woolwich Works – which is very much based in London, England ​​– needs to fill the eleventy billion slots on its roster of events each week, so I guess that’s why it’s jumping on the Burns bandwagon this Saturday. To be honest, I’m surprised there isn’t also a mint-themed party to celebrate the life of William Colgate, who was born on the same day. 

As always, WW isn’t half-arsing this event (apart from when deciding to name the thing a “Crafternoon”, even though it starts at 10:30). It’s all about “glorious crafts” – such as making a popsicle stick Scottish thistle, a “super Scots kill craft”, or some Burns Night bunting. You have to admire their determination in finding an alcohol-free angle to such a famously sloshtastic occasion.

But if you do want to participate in some traditional food and drink for a full-on Burns Night experience, WW is hosting a Burns Night Dinner that evening (with time slots starting at 18:30). The meal is £30 per person and kids aren’t any cheaper, but it’s less expensive than travelling all the way to Scotland for cullen skink, haggis, and cranachan. 

(Final thought: does Weight Watchers own the “WW” trademark? Errrr yes. Oops. Thankfully, I have a feeling they have other fights on their mind atm.)

While you’re there… 

👍️ Would you rather chase a tim’rous beastie through a field than attend a Robert Burns-themed morning? Then maybe Lunar New Year is more your vibe. If so, there’s a Lunar New Year Crafternoon on Sunday (which, like the Burns one, is actually in the morning), and it involves making your own fan, paper lantern or paper snake. 

👍️ Alternatively, you could act quickly and snap up very popular tickets for the Koi Fish Jelly Pond Class, where you create your own edible fish pond.  

Scottish Ensemble: In Sync
Sunday 26 January, 13:00 and 15:00
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£10 per child (no charge for adults)
Southbank Centre age guidance: suitable for all ages

TICKETS ARE GOING FAST! 

No, Justin Timberlake and co. have not reformed and finally got the spelling right. 

This performance is all about folk and classical string music, and it’s intended for the whole family. Everything is performed entirely from memory, which means the musicians from Scottish Ensemble can bound around the stage, “whisking you between centuries and continents” while keeping the energy firmly up. 

If you want more of an idea of what In Sync is all about, this fabulous video (from a performance last year) will make you desperate to book tickets ASAP. 

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