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🐭 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (18–19 January)

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Hello! 

My family and I have just moved flat (yesterday!), so everything’s feeling a bit discombobulated and disarrayed. We’re not letting that stop us this weekend, though: there’s SO MUCH BRILLIANT STUFF to look forward to. 

I’ll keep this intro short: otherwise you’ll just end up with my random thoughts about where the plates should go and how to turn off the fridge “door open” beeper noise. 

Enjoy the weekend!

Jeff xx

Family Workshops - P-P-P-Penguins!
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00 and 11:30
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
Adults and children ÂŁ9.50
Little Angel Theatre age guidance: 3–6

Question: ​​What’s black, white, and waddles all over? 
Answer: A confused referee. 

And there you were, groan-muttering  “a penguin” while rolling your eyes. I live for misdirection: it’s why my friends call me “Clever Trevor”. Just kidding – they don’t.

So, puppet penguins. If you’ve ever been to more than one Little Angel puppet-making workshop, you’ll know that the format and materials are often very similar. It could be a princess, an owl, a bird or a bear; whatever it is, you’ll be using a wooden spoon, split pins, paper, sticky gems and ribbons to make it. Which isn’t a criticism at all: every single workshop is delightful and fun, and the puppets genuinely work and last ages if you take care of them. (We still have our “Queen Elizabeth” puppet, which is more than can be said for the real thing.) 

So what’s surprising about this new workshop is that wooden spoons are being replaced by SOCKS – which means the penguin puppets will be lovely and cuddly, albeit potentially smelly. 

It’s to celebrate Penguin Awareness Day on 20 January, which needs to be renamed because we’re all clearly “aware” of the existence of penguins. If you want to do something helpful (in addition to putting googly eyes on Grandpa’s old foot cosies), you could adopt a penguin or donate to the Global Penguin Society

While you’re there… 

👍️ Milner Square Playground isn’t anything spectacular, but it’s a cute, quiet space with equipment suitable for a variety of ages. 

👍️ Head to Udderlicious for incredible ice cream flavours – such as salted vanilla cookie dough, dragon fruit & banana, malt & crushed Maltesers, and Biscoff & honeycomb. There’s also plenty for the vegans. 

Town Mouse & Country Mouse
Sunday 19 January, 11:00 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
ÂŁ12.75 per person
artsdepot age guidance: 3–7

If I were to meet Aesop today, I’d bring up the story of the town and country mouse immediately. “You know that story about the mice?” I’d say. “You seem to be making the point that a simple life in the country is better than an extravagant life in the city, because the city is dangerous and scary, right?” Aesop would smile patronisingly and congratulate me on understanding his toddler-level tale.

“But… it’s just. OK, firstly: the countryside is f**king dangerous. Murder mysteries are based on real life, you know. And setting aside the cold-blooded stuff, it might interest you to know that fatalities on rural roads are four times higher than on rural ones.” 

Aesop would start to explain that cars didn’t exist in his day, but I’d interrupt: “You had your say back in 600-ish BCE. Now it’s my turn, m’kay? So… the countryside is better than the town, you claim? More enjoyable? Do you KNOW how many people left their home cities during covid, thinking they wanted “more space” and “a garden for the kids to run around”? The answer is: loads of them. And do you know what became of those people? They moved back to the city, because they were miserable.” 

“What’s covid?” Aesop will ask. “Never you mind,” I’ll say. “It’s entirely relevant, but not worth getting into.” All you need to know is this: you’re wrong. I’ll take my kids to your show because I like artsdepot and the productions are always good. But you’re most definitely wrong. And now I’m doubting that the tortoise ever really won against the hare. I think he just cheated and took a shorter route to the finish line.”

Aesop would throw up his hands in exasperation and defeat. I would smile just as patronisingly, take my kids to see Town Mouse and Country Mouse, then spend the entire journey home explaining why Aesop was misguided. 

While you’re there…

👍️ N20 Kids Club is a soft-play space less than a mile away. I’ve never been, but the reviews suggest you take the “3 months to 11 years” suggested age range and smash it to smithereens. Six years old seems like the upper limit. 

👍️ Little Tea House is a gem of a place, with spectacular teas and beautiful cakes and pastries (which are all made in-house by the owner). Board games are apparently available; I didn’t see them when I visited, but that might be because my own kids looked too feral to be trusted with a load of Jenga blocks. 

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Thames Rockets 50% off Sunday Funday
Sunday 19 January (and 26 January)
The London Eye Pier, Boarding Gate 1, SE1 7PB
Tickets are normally about £50 per person at full price, so they’re about £25 per person on Sundays in January
Thames Rockets age guidance: suitable for all

How young is too young for a kid to go on a Thames Rocket? The website FAQs say that there are “no age restrictions on most of our experiences” and that it’s the “perfect family-friendly experience”. Now I just need to convince the other grown-up stakeholder in my family that it'll be fiiine for the two-year-old to come along, and we’ll be off for our half-price speedboat experience! 

The Thames Rockets Ultimate London Adventure is a 50-minute ride along the river. You start at the London Eye Pier and travel east at a relaxing, leisurely pace while your tour guide provides interesting anecdotes and facts while pointing out the sites. Then, once you’ve reached Tower Bridge, it’s time to come back – this time at 35 mph and with some thoroughly unnecessary twists and turns for extra adrenaline. I know 35 mph doesn’t seem very fast, but according to my reliable source (Chat GPT, as always), 35 mph in a speedboat on water feels equivalent to about 90 mph on land.

I’ve been once before, and it’s FANTASTIC. The tour guides are all recruited from the acting and stand-up circuit, and it shows: they’re quick-witted, super funny, and they’ve memorised every single interesting titbit about London. And the return journey west (the fast bit) doesn’t feel at all like the anti-climax I anticipated. 

It’s normally pretty expensive, but tickets are half price every Sunday throughout January. Make the most of it! 

Vivaldi’s Four Seasons – A Family Concert Adventure
Saturday 18 January, 15:00
King’s Place, 90 York Way,, N1 9AG
£15–£20, depending on seating
King’s Place age guidance: 4+

A while ago I mentioned that King’s Place should try harder when it came to children’s events. I stand by that: there’s basically nothing except a performance by the King’s Place resident orchestra once in a blue moon. 

But hell has frozen over and pigs are flying because WE HAVE A NEW CHILD-FRIENDLY EVENT AT KING’S PLACE! And it’s exactly the sort of production I want King’s Place to do more of: an adult classical concert that’s been reconstructed for a family audience.

The adult concert is Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, which is being performed by the “ever-adventurous Manchester Camerata”. They’ll guide you through the seasons in a way that’ll ensure the whole family enjoys it, for a “whirlwind adventure through the sun, storm, rain and snow”. 

If you have time, check out the Manchester Camerata’s “about” page: they really do seem like an impressive and inspirational bunch. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Star of Kings pub was once called The Cross Kings, which we can all agree is a much cleverer name. It was a kooky, strange place back in pre-KX-gentrification days, with odd little club nights and a lentil-heavy menu long before “Plant Based” was the modal adjective at every London restaurant. 

The Star of Kings isn’t quite as weird or wonderful as the original, but it has one massive redeeming feature: Breddos Tacos on the menu. It’s next to King’s Place, and you should definitely go there for lunch after the Mendelssohn thing.

Make-Lab Masterclass: 3D Stop-Motion Animation
Saturday 18 January, 10:30–12:30 and 14:00–16:00
Young V&A, Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA
ÂŁ25 per person
Young V&A age guidance: 7–14

TICKETS ARE SELLING OUT FAST!

Are you as conflicted as I am about children’s screen time? On the one hand, being on screens means they’re not outside building forts, it’s passive rather than active entertainment, and it feels so lazy. On the other hand, they learn so many new words and skills, there are creative ways to use a tablet, and I’m too tired to engage with anything other than my sofa right now anyway. 

One type of screen time that I don’t mind too much is when my seven-year-old creates stop-motion videos about his day. I could do without the scenes where I'm in the background looking tired, but I’m bloomin’ impressed by what he can do. 

What he can’t yet do, though, is stop-motion animation – which is far better because it doesn’t involve me as a reluctant and unpaid extra. And that’s why I’m excited about the Young V&As workshop this weekend, in which, through a series of creative tasks, children will “plan a short sequence, devise sets and create shots” with a view to making their very own short film. 

Prior experience isn’t necessary, but a wad of cash is: it’s £25 per person, and adults must book a ticket for themselves too. If that seems expensive, it’s because it is. But think about it this way: If one of your kids becomes the next Nick Park, it’ll be worth it. (And if they don’t, it won’t, but let’s not focus on that.)

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