🤡 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (10–11 May)

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Hey DILFs!

I can’t promise, but there’s a chance you’ll be able to see up to 50 hot air balloons drifting over central London this Sunday morning . It all depends on the weather – which has tried to give the middle finger to the Lord Mayor’s Hot Air Balloon Regatta as much as possible over the years – so don’t hold your breath.   

I’ve never seen the Hot Air Balloon Regatta before, but Ianvisits assures me that it’s “a magical sight”... when it happens. The Regatta website is constantly updated, so keep an eye on it to determine if you should set your alarm for 06:00 Sunday morning or not. 

And if it doesn’t go ahead (or if you’re not that much of a morning person), there’s plenty more to do this weekend. 

Enjoy! 

Jeff xx

1: Discover how Cinderella became a dessert empire CEO

Cinderella Ice Cream Seller
Sunday 11 May, 11:00 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£12.75 per person
Age guidance: 5+

My two children have watched the CBeebies panto version of Beauty and the Beast more times than a cartoon candlestick has aggressively flirted with a feather duster. They gave up after 20 minutes of the Disney original, though, which both breaks my heart and means they’re unaware of the original ending – where the Beast turns back into his beautiful human self. 

The ending of the CBeebies redo – which plays fast and loose with the original plot throughout – involves Belle falling in love with the Beast, but he remains a Beast due to poor logistical planning and bad weather. And it’s FINE! Because why would she want him to change?? She loves him just the way he is! 

Until the other day, that was my best example of egregious plot detours, but I’ve now found a competitor. Cinderella Ice Cream Seller is a musical about the ice cream mogul Cinderella and how she created her empire of dessert shops, taking her from humble street seller to multimillionaire business woman in the process. 

It’s not like they’ve simply chosen the name Cinderella because they liked it and thought it was less overused in fiction than Mary. Princes, wicked stepsisters aunts, palace balls and glass slippers get wedged into the storyline too, so the show is definitely meant to be a reworking of the original tale. The message, however, isn’t about love and escape from drudgery via suspiciously exclusive footwear, but about finding your purpose.

At this rate, Sleeping Beauty’s going to wake up and launch a mindfulness app. And Snow White is probably setting up a coworking space in the forest as we speak. 

Find out more: https://www.artsdepot.co.uk/event/cinderella-ice-cream-seller/

2: Cruise past sewage works and starchitect towers on the Thames

Architecture on the Thames Boat Tour of East London
Saturday 10 May, 13:00–16:00
Departing from and returning to Greenwich Pier, Cutty Sark Gardens, SE10 9HT
Adults £35.50, under-25s £19.50 (enter code GROUP-BOAT at the shop page checkout for 15% discount if buying 3 tickets or more)
Age guidance: strictly no under-7s

We had friends over from Serbia last week, and they were floored by the city’s architectural classics – Westminster, St Paul’s, Royal Albert Hall, Liberty’s, the Natural History Museum, etc. All were ranked “S-tier”, which, for the benefit of anyone over 35, is apparently better than an “A”.

A building they didn’t even mention, let alone rank? The Crossness Sewage Treatment Works. Ditto Tate and Lyle’s sugar refinery in Silvertown, and the Thames Barrier. Not. One. Word.

I know what you’re thinking: how can we bear to spend time with such uncultured, predictable bandwagoners?

Well, it turns out some people aren’t even aware of the industrial history of East London’s embankments – or the architecturally important structures that came out of it. They also don’t know the whole area is now being revitalised – with the help of some of the world’s most famous architects – into a brand new place to live and work. The old structures will remain, so it’ll be industrial remnants and glossy towers sharing a stretch of river, leading to possibly the most intense overlap of timelines the city’s ever arranged.

I know you know all this – just like I did. Cough. But would you like to actually see what’s taken place already and witness the new skyline-in-progress? Yes? Then you’ll want to join this Architecture on the Thames Boat Tour of East London. It’s led by an architect and teacher of architecture called Benedict O’Looney – a name I shouldn’t still find funny at my age.

I would genuinely LOVE to do this tour, but I have a two-year-old – and under-7s aren’t allowed. Nor are dogs, but that’s not a deal-breaker for me because I don’t have a dog. Interesting. Thanks, Jeff.

If you go, pleeease tell me if it was worth it – and if I should find a babysitter for the kid (and non-dog) next time it’s on.

Find out more: https://open-city.org.uk/events/boat-east-14 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The embarkation point is right by the National Maritime Museum, Cutty Sark and Old Royal Naval College. And after doing all the boaty things, you can straddle the Prime Meridian Line – the home of Greenwich Mean Time – at the Royal Observatory. (There’s LOADS of other things to do at the Royal Observatory; check it all out here.)

👍️ Greenwich Park is also nearby, of course. 

3: Revisit the Tower’s original poppy display – 80 years on from WWII

The Tower Remembers
Saturday, 09:00–17:30 and Sunday, 10:00–17:30 (and daily until 11 November)
Tower of London, EC3N 4AB
Free with entry ticket (adults £35.80, 5–15s £17.90, under-5s free)
Note: “Some small elements of the installation will be visible without a ticket, but the majority of the installation will be within the Tower’s walls and requires an admission ticket.”

You may have seen these ceramic poppies before. Back in 2014, they were displayed in the moat of the Tower of London to commemorate the centenary of the outbreak of World War One. There were 888,246 hand-created poppies in total – each representing a military life that had been lost. 

After the installation ended, the vast majority of the poppies were sold for £25 to members of the public, raising money for six service charities. But about 30,000 of them were held back, and those are the ones you’ll see at the new installation – this time to commemorate the 80th anniversary of the end of World War Two. 

The 2025 installation is supposed to resemble a wound: poppies will “pour across the lawn… where the blood-red flowers will form a crater, with ripples flowing outwards”. And while it won’t look as impressive as 2014’s effort (given that only about 3% of the original poppies are on display), it might be more meaningful because the Tower itself suffered heavy aerial bombardment during World War Two. Several of the Tower’s buildings were bomb-damaged, and a Yeoman Warder and a resident died when the fortress was hit. 

Last time the poppies were on display, many art critics wrote scathing reviews, even though – in a very Rotten Tomatoes-y way – the whole endeavour seemed very popular with the public (to the extent that there were attempts to extend its run so more people could visit). I haven’t seen any critics’ opinions on this year’s display, but I’m sure they’ll declare their hatred of it yet again. 

Find out more: https://www.hrp.org.uk/tower-of-london/whats-on/tower-remembers-2025 

4: Celebrate 25 years of Tate Modern with tarot, zines and DJ dads

Tate Modern Birthday Weekender
Saturday, 10:00–23:30 and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (also Friday and Monday)
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
FREE

Tate Modern and I have very different ideas about what constitutes a “fun birthday celebration”. I like to go for a relaxing walk around London with my family, find somewhere nice for a slice of cake, and be in bed by 22:30 after a thrilling episode of Only Connect. 

If Tate Modern were to hear of my plans, it would no doubt roll the eyes of its wrinkle-free, Gen Z face, mutter “bruh” under its breath, and school me on the need to slay when it comes to party prep. 

Because… wow… this art gallery will not have time for a slice of cake this weekend. Here are just a few of the events taking place: 

Tarot readings inside the Art and Religion Room (Saturday, 10:00–19:00 and Sunday, 10:00–17:30): Have a 15-minute tarot reading, “surrounded by symbols of Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Vodún and other traditional African faiths”. 

Roman Ondak: Measuring the Universe (Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:30): “You are invited to choose a location in the Turbine Hall to have your height measured, name marked and the date that you take part recorded. Over the four days of Tate Modern’s Birthday Weekender, the walls will gradually fill with individual markings and names, creating a collective drawing and an ephemeral performance.” The artwork is based on a set of instructions by the artist Roman Ondak, and carried out by Tate facilitators.

Uniqlo Tate Play: Joy of Togetherness (Saturday and Sunday, 10:30–18:00, and weekends until 16 July): “Unleash your imagination as you mix and match shapes, colours, and textures to craft your own visual language — one that tells stories, shares memories, and celebrates different cultures.

Visitors of all ages can get stuck in with paints, stamps, calligraphy and collages on different surfaces. Make your very own zine or folded book to add to our studio library or take it home to treasure.”

DJ sets programmed by House of Dad (Sunday, 12:00–16:30): House of Dad isn’t just for dads. It’s a “multigenerational exploration of dance for friends, families, young and old”. (See the event under “Sunday” in the link above.)

See the full list of events here: https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/birthday-weekender 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Electric Dreams: Art and Technology Before the Internet is still exhibiting at Tate Modern. It “brings together groundbreaking works by a wide range of international artists who engaged with science, technology and material innovation”, which you can take to mean: “Lots of zany things to look at and fiddle, and a bunch of stuff to confuse your senses, plus a big room with massive balloons that’ll keep you there for hours.” It’s great. 

5: Mark 50 years of Covent Garden’s street performers – with a full day of shows, stunts and singalongs

Covent Garden Street Performers Association (CGSPA) celebrates 50 years
Sunday 11 May, 11:00–17:00
Covent Garden, WC2E 7BB
FREE

Watching a street performer in Covent Garden is admittedly a hit-and-miss experience. I once spent 45 minutes waiting for a clown to preamble his way into the biggest anticlimax of a circus stunt anyone has ever witnessed. Worse still, I begrudgingly gave him money – which angered my son, who’d been as frustrated by the show as I was. So in the space of under an hour I’d lost time, money, and the respect of my child. 

But good street performers do exist – and some (such as Eddie/Suzy Eddie Izzard) have made it to the big time. It’s also an intrinsic part of Covent Garden that can be enjoyed by anyone, for free – so it makes sense to celebrate the 50-year-old tradition. As the Covent Garden Street Performers Association (CGSPA) says: “One of the defining qualities of Covent Garden’s street theatre is its accessibility… Anyone – of any income level, local or tourist, young or old – can stop and watch. A banker on lunch break watching a man lay up on a bed of nails, is just as welcome as a family stumbling across a chainsaw juggler.” 

The chainsaw juggler will indeed be making an appearance at Sunday’s event – alongside his dad, who wowed crowds with sword-swallowing acts in the 1990s. And the bed-of-nails guy will be there too. He’s called Heavy Metal Pete, and he also engages in sword-swallowing and contortion acts. (He also happens to be the spokesperson for the CGSPA.)

If you’d rather watch performers who don’t look like they’ve recently signed a waiver, ventriloquist Steph and her puppet Gordo will be around – as is 16-year-old juggler Harvey Stinton, among others. 

An 11-piece brass band will kick off the occasion, and there are dance performances, dance workshops and opportunities to chat with performers throughout the day. At some point there’ll also be a mass singalong led by the West End Musical Choir. It all just sounds marvellous. 

(Btw, there’s a serious underlying message to the day ​– about the conservation of street performance in Covent Garden. You can read more in an interview here, which also provides some fascinating behind-the-scenes info about Covent Garden street performing.)

Find out more: https://londonist.com/london/things-to-do/covent-garden-street-performers-may 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Covent Garden's May Fayre & Puppet Festival – held on the second Sunday in May since 1976 – is happening on the exact same day this year. It celebrates the anniversary of the first recorded sighting (by Samuel Pepys, of course, in May 1662) of Mr Punch, who was an early version of today’s Punch & Judy shows.

The Puppet Festival will begin with a special service in St Paul’s Church at 12:00, with Mr Punch in the pulpit. Then, in the church garden, there’ll be stalls, Punch & Judy shows, puppeteering workshops, live music and maypole dancing. All completely free.