🤖 16 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (4–5 October)

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Hey DILFs!

There’s a new maths discovery centre in London, which seems to be (unintentionally, I assume) launching completely under the radar. Unfortunately it’s called MathsWorld, which is pretty much the quickest way to get bullied at school if you say you went there over the weekend. Still, dodgy name aside, it looks fantastic.

You’ll find it tucked under a railway arch on the South Bank, and it contains more than 40 hands-on exhibits that make seven-year-old me cry with jealousy. You can step inside a giant soap bubble, lose yourself in a kaleidoscope, crack secret codes, or play pool on an elliptical table. There’s laser-cutting, puzzles, and plenty of ways to find the maths hidden in everyday life.

It doesn’t actually open until 19 October, but I’m flagging it now so you can book tickets in advance – just in case there’s suddenly a wave of publicity and everyone decides they’re desperate to spend that weekend inside a giant Venn diagram of puzzles and bubbles. Check it out (and get tickets) here.

As for this weekend… here you go!

Enjoy,

Jeff xx

1: Wander through a century of artists sketching futures that didn’t always show up

The Future Was Then
Saturday, 10:30–17:30 and Sunday, 12:00–16:00 (and Tuesday–Sunday until 21 March)
The Cartoon Museum, 63 Wells Street, W1A 3AE
Adults £12, under-18s free (admission is for one year)

The Cartoon Museum gets a rough deal, if you ask me. Most reviews go on about how small it is – 400 square metres, which makes it basically the British Museum’s broom cupboard (92,000 square metres). People also moan about the £12 ticket, forgetting it lasts a whole year – so you can come back for every new exhibition without paying again.

Small or not, and pricey or not, it’s crammed with the good stuff. You’ve got Hogarth having a go at polite society, Gillray drawing politicians with heads like root vegetables, wartime cartoons keeping everyone’s chin up, and Scarfe and Steadman just going for it with ink and rage. Political cartoons and satire are as British as tea and passive-aggressive queuing, and it’s ridiculous it took until the 2000s to give them a proper museum.

The latest exhibition is The Future Was Then, and it’s basically a century of artists trying to guess the future. Sometimes their visions are hopeful – astronauts off exploring new worlds. Other times it’s dystopia bingo – megacities, curfews, giant screens barking orders, the lot. You get the likes of Tank Girl, Judge Dredd, Thunderbirds and a few others you might not have heard of, plus artwork from Jamie Hewlett – better known for Gorillaz – and plenty more.

Some predictions, like humans using computers on a daily basis, were bang on. But most were wildly off: Martian space beasts still aren't a thing, for instance. My biggest gripe is that they failed to predict the petty miseries of the future: unrecognised items at self-checkouts, 2FA codes pinged to the wrong device, and autocorrect butchering our texts. I’m just saying it would have been nice to have budgeted for the mountain of coins we’d end up chucking in the swear jar.

It’s a witty, fascinating wander through futures that (mostly) never quite arrived — and a reminder that tomorrow usually turns out more boring than anyone dared imagine.

Find out more: https://www.cartoonmuseum.org/whats-on-exhibitions/the-future-was-then

While you’re there…

👍️ As I was reading through some of the less-than-complimentary reviews of the Cartoon Museum, I noticed that a few people mentioned the nearby Fitzrovia Chapel as a wonderful mini-cathedral to visit before or after. So I looked it up and oh.my.freaking.goodness: it’s beautiful!

It once formed part of Middlesex Hospital, but in 2005, the hospital closed down after 250 years. So now it’s on its own ​​– a little red-brick building that’s dwarfed by a bunch of high-rises and luxury shops.

It looks like nothing special from the outside, but once you’re inside, “you can hardly believe your eyes. It’s as if a side chapel has been nicked from St Mark’s in Venice and parachuted into utterly secular surroundings.

“Light bounces off a vaulted ceiling of dazzling gold mosaic. Gothic stained glass windows gleam with saints and physicians – sometimes both – and an aisle of pale blue mosaic tiles glides up to something that looks remarkably like an altar rail and altar.”

Strangely, it’s not even a religious place: it was never consecrated, “and has always been open to anyone of any faith – or no faith at all”. And it has some celebrity(ish) connections too: it’s where King Charles recorded last year’s Christmas message; and where Rudyard Kipling’s body lay in state before his funeral at Westminster Abbey.

Note: after writing all of this, I realised the chapel isn’t open this weekend. So sorry about that! The next date it’s open on a weekend is Saturday 18 October. It’s also open on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, plus other random weekdays mentioned here: https://www.fitzroviachapel.org/events/

2: Hunt for aliens while wondering why they never look like Hollywood thinks they should

The Great Alien Hunt
Saturday 4 October, 14:30–15:45
The Royal Institution of Great Britain, 21 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BS
Adults £17.27, under-16s £11.02
Age guidance: 12 and under

I’ve said before that the thought of aliens keeps me up at night. Not the little green men with ray guns kind – more the vast unknowable intelligence that definitely doesn’t have our best interests at heart kind.

So, er, here you go: a talk about aliens, which I will certainly not be attending. Have fun realising we’re the wildlife footage in someone else’s galaxy.

In the talk, astronomer Matt Bothwell will be picking apart how scientists actually go about the search for life elsewhere – how we find other planets, what sort of worlds are out there (lava balls, frozen moons, planets that sound like bad holiday destinations), and whether any of them could be home to something alive.

Matt’s got form here: his books have titles like Astrophysics for Supervillains and The Great Alien Hunt, where he explains the universe in a way that’s fun, a bit gruesome, and not at all like a school lesson. Want to know what happens if you chuck someone into a black hole? Matt’s your guy. Want to find out why aliens in films never look anything like what scientists expect? Matt’s still your guy – and the fact they’re already sketching what aliens might look like is enough to make me hide under the bed.

So yes, if the idea of aliens fills you with awe and dread in equal measure, you’ll be in good company. And afterwards you can even buy a signed copy of his latest book to terrify yourself further at bedtime.

Find out more: https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/great-alien-hunt-family

While you’re there…

👍️ Mayfair has some of the loveliest streets in London – and this self-guided walking tour is a great way to see them. Two maps (for parts 1 and 2 of the tour) are at the bottom of the written description of the route.

👍️ Kahve Dunyasi is a Turkish cafe on Piccadilly with some of the best ice creams and cakes my family has ever tasted. As a bonus, the owners there will think your children are delightful – even if they’re objectively horrendous.

3: Step inside the art experience where every choice rewrites the story – and no one agrees

Danielle Brathwaite-Shirley: THE DELUSION
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (and daily until 18 January)
Serpentine North, West Carriage Drive, W2 2AR
FREE (but booking a free ticket is recommended)
Age guidance: see description below

I know art is supposed to be a dialogue. I’m meant to look, absorb, reflect, maybe even come away changed. But sometimes I just want a quiet room full of nice pictures where I can switch my brain off for an hour. This exhibition will 100% NOT let me do that. You need to be in the right frame of mind.

The good news is your kids won’t need convincing – no matter what mood they’re in. Shout “Let’s go out to play computer games!!” and they’ll have their jumper, socks, shoes and jacket on faster than you can remind them to do a wee before leaving the house.

Once you enter the exhibition, you’re thrown into a future where society has had one almighty fallout and splintered into tribes, each convinced they’re the only ones who’ve got it right. A giant blinking eye looms on a screen, scanning for its next “leaders”. Two people must step into the hot seats beneath it, while the rest of the crowd settle in with voting buttons and scraps of information the leaders don’t get.

Together you try to steer through a story of fractured futures, revolutions gone wrong and moral dead-ends – deciding who to save, who to follow, and whether to ignore everyone shouting at you. The outcome changes with each new group of people, because the whole thing runs on the messy, in-the-moment conversations bouncing round the room.

There’s no official age guidance, but to avoid annoying everyone else, it’s probably best not to bring very young kids: they’ll just vote to kill at every moral dilemma. Also, the small print warns of flashing lights, low lighting, strong language and references to pretty much every heavy topic under the sun – abortion, extremism, discrimination, the lot. There’s even a “Safe Room” if you need to step out for a bit, complete with zines and a sit-down. Think of it as the art-world equivalent of half-time oranges.

So yes, art is supposed to be a conversation – but this is about as far as you can get from “just looking at pretty pictures”. I may need a quiet half-hour with Monet’s water lilies to recover.

Find out more: https://www.serpentinegalleries.org/whats-on/danielle-brathwaite-shirley-the-delusion

While you’re there…

👍️ After something wholesome and nature-y after all that dystopia? You could always grab a Lime bike and cycle around London’s ninth-most popular route of 2023: the Hyde Park bike path.

👍️ Or if anyone in the family is feeling particularly traumatised, the Diana Memorial Playground is the place to reset and forget. It has a wooden pirate ship (with a beach), sensory trail, teepees, and various play sculptures.

4: Try sketching while salsa dancing, then carve a block print to haul home

Royal Albert Wharf Creative Open Day
Saturday 4 October, 10:00–18:00
Upper Dock Walk and Lock Side Way, Royal Albert Wharf, E16 2GU
FREE

When I was a schoolkid, the height of artistic creativity was papier-mâché and fake brass rubbing. Maybe some origami as a reward for singing loudly during the Christmas concert.

These days kids come home with clay pots, rock-band T-shirts, optical illusions made out of cereal boxes, painted tiles, and whole landscapes cobbled together from scrap. It’s all wonderful and I genuinely love it – but I’m also slightly panicking about where to put the life-size replica of Stonehenge they’re almost definitely planning for next term.

Which is why I’m eyeing the Royal Albert Wharf Creative Open Day with a mix of excitement and mild storage anxiety.

Because this isn’t just glue sticks and glitter. You can pose by the docks for a proper family portrait, then wander into a “Cynatope” workshop where you use UV light to burn ghostly blue images onto paper. “Sketching and Salsa” has you dancing and drawing at the same time – the kind of multitasking that makes holding a conversation while putting the peanut butter away look easy. “A Single Stroke” ink painting gives you a single brush of ink to make something worth keeping, while “Block Printing” lets you carve a design, ink it up and stamp it again and again – patterns, logos, dinosaurs, whatever they dream up. You get to keep everything you make.

There’s more. “Halloween Mask-Making” is a worrying prospect given there are professionals on hand to help your child make something genuinely nightmarish. And “Chalkhead Carving” is also on the list – still not sure what it is, but it sounds like a prog-rock band your uncle saw in 1978. Add in tote-bag design (useful for hauling all this home), a puppet performance, and a full parade with bells, whistles and live music rattling round the docks, and you’ve got yourself a day out.

I love it, I really do. But the way things are going I’ll be on first-name terms with the bloke at Big Yellow Storage.

Find out more: https://www.royaldocks.london/whats-on/royal-albert-wharf-creative-open-day

While you’re there…

👍️ Back in the day, New Year’s Eve in the Royal Docks meant a wall of sound – church bells, ship horns, families out on the streets clattering pots and pans. By all accounts, it was quite the racket – a happy, raucous racket. Then the docks shut, the noise stopped, and half the neighbourhood packed up and left in search of work.

Fast-forward 60-odd years and the docks are buzzing again, with a whole new set of residents from all over the world. Same story as before really: people moving here to try and make a better life. And over the past few weeks they’ve been bringing back some of that old east London commotion through Bells and Whistles: workshops, puppetry and community projects, all leading up to one big finale.

That finale is this Saturday — three parades happening at once across the docks (Britannia Village, Custom House and Beckton), each kicking off at 14:30 after a morning of “parade ready” workshops. There’s also an exhibition of all the artwork made along the way. Basically, the docks are about to get their voice back – and it’ll make nearby City Airport sound like a library.

5: Watch jazz take shape in the moment in a church that doesn’t mind if you show up late

Relaxed Saturday Live: Harry Christelis & Rod Oughton
Saturday 4 October, 10:30
St James's Church, 197 Piccadilly, W1J 9LL
FREE (donations welcome)
Age guidance: suitable for all

The best life hack isn’t doing “Morning Pages” at 4am every day, or meal-prepping glass food containers of venison steaks for the week ahead, or standing on one leg to brush your teeth. The best life hack is family-friendly orchestra concerts. They don’t drag on for hours, they’re cheaper, and you can always blame your godawful fart on the toddler in row C.

And the beauty of it is that you actually learn something. A normal concert can feel like one very long meeting where everyone else has the agenda but you’re just nodding along and waiting for biscuits. In family concerts, they stop and actually tell you things: what the composer was aiming for, how the piece was stitched together, why that one bit sounds like horses galloping, and even a quick demo of how the instruments pull it off.

Which brings us to St James’s new thing: Relaxed Saturday Live. These are free concerts where nobody minds if you wander in late, wander out early, or wander round in circles trying to stop a toddler licking the floor. Alongside the music, you’ll get the kind of trivia and little demonstrations that make the whole thing click for adults as well as kids.

And while it’s family-friendly, it isn’t “kids’ music”. It’s proper stuff – jazz, world music, whatever’s on that week – just presented in a way that makes sense if you’re not already a music expert. Adults who tend to require a mid-symphony nap are welcome too.

The first one is this weekend, with guitarist Harry Christelis and drummer Rod Oughton – two big names from London’s improvised music scene. They’ll talk about how they approach improvisation, then dive into a completely improvised set: solos, duos, and whatever else happens in the moment.

Find out more: https://www.sjp.org.uk/whats-on/an-introduction-to-free-improvisation-with-harry-christelis-rod-oughton/

6–12: More, more, more, more, more, more and more!

SAILFest: Nikhil and Jay with Chitra Soundar (U*) + Pre Film Workshop
Saturday 4 October, 09:45–11:00: SAILFest workshop, (free, drop in), 11:00–12:00: Nikhil and Jay screening with Chitra Soundar (ticketed)
Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £5, under-18s £2.50
Age guidance: 3–6

“Join us for a screening of four special episodes of Nikhil & Jay, chosen by author Chitra Soundar and a pre-screening activity led by SAILFest.

Drop into the Cinema Café from 9:45am to join SAILFest's, the UK's first festival dedicated to celebrating South Asian illustration and literature, family-led workshop that will get your imaginations swooping and diving.

Afterwards, Chitra Soundar, the creator of Nikhil and Jay will introduce her four favourite stories from her hit TV show, Nikhil and Jay, in our cinema to get us all thinking about the characters and their family.”

Get Creative with Chitra Soundar + SAILFest Salon
Saturday 4 October, 12:30–13:15: Get Creative with Chitra Soundar (ticketed), 13:30–14:30: Family Sail Salon, Cinema Café (free, drop in)
Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £5, under-18s £2.50
Age guidance: 6–9

“Come along at 12:30 for an in-cinema workshop - 'Nikhil & Jay: Flying High' - with author Chitra Soundar, followed by a creative drop-in session.

Chitra Soundar's books feature brothers Nikhil and Jay – and Max the Cat – who love to find out new things, join clubs and make stuff. They enjoy getting involved with lots of things at home and in the community and playing together. Come and be inspired by Nikhil and Jay, to explore fun weekend activities to help the planet, meeting new friends and connecting with your community.

And from 1.30pm, drop into the SAIL Salon in the Cinema Café – an informal session for young audiences to relax, engage and create, with the SAILFest authors and illustrators on hand to offer prompts or chat to you about translating your imagination to the page.”

FREE Family Fun Day
Saturday 4 October, 10:00–16:00
Half Moon Young People’s Theatre, 43 White Horse Road, London E1 0ND
FREE, no booking required
Age guidance: suitable for all

“Our free family fun day returns for a tenth year with another selection of fun community events to get involved in.

Join us from 10am-4pm as we create a Fun Palace throughout our building and garden with an inspiring programme of events for all ages, celebrating arts, culture and science.

Throughout the day, we will have pop-up storytelling performances, music and movement workshops, plus art and craft activities for everyone to get involved with. We’ll also have tea, cake and a few surprises along the way. Dip into one or two events or stay for the whole day!

All events are free. Refreshments are available to buy throughout the day.”

Conker Championships 2025
Sunday 5 October, 12:30–16:00
Parliament Hill Bandstand, NW5 1QR
FREE – no ticket required

“Join in the fun at the return of the world famous, world record-breaking Hampstead Heath Conker Championships at the Parliament Hill Bandstand.

The Championships will include the all-important conker competition (age categories for under 8s, 8-12s, 13-17s and adults), culminating in the final face-offs in front of the crowds in the squared conker circle!

The Championships will also feature free, family, nature activities, stalls and be followed by live music from TBC on the Bandstand!”

See website for info about timings.

Rock and Rhyme
Sunday 5 October, 11:00 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£13.75 per person
Age guidance: 0–5

“Your kid's first concert!

Poet and performer Arji Manuelpillai and jazz and rock guitarist Matt Smith are teaming up to create an unforgettable show full of energy, rhythm, and fun.

Sing along to timeless favourites like Old MacDonald, Wheels on the Bus, and Sleeping Bunnies, all with a fresh, exciting twist that will have both children and grown-ups bopping along.

This interactive performance blends poetry, rap, and music for a tongue-in-cheek rock show perfect for little people aged 0 to 5.”

Saturday Sessions: Storytelling with Hannah Lee
Saturday 4 October, 13:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required
Age guidance: 5–11

“Saturday Sessions are the perfect place to start the weekend. On a monthly basis you can enjoy a piece of art, make something new along with the artists and create with other children and their families – all for free!

This month writer Hannah Lee and illustrator Allen Fatimaharan bring imaginative storytelling and live illustration to The Clore Ballroom, inviting us to create new stories and learn the art of illustration collectively.

Hannah Lee is an award-winning author from London. Her debut picture book My Hair is a celebration of Black hair, and her follow up The Rapping Princess is a fairytale about finding your voice.

Allen Fatimaharan is an award winning illustrator and animator based in Oxfordshire who has illustrated over twenty books since 2019. He was the World Book Day illustrator for 2022 and 2023.

Stick around afterwards for a freestyle Ballroom Boogie to get you moving into the weekend, with DJ tracks, dancing and games for all the family.”

Korean Thanksgiving Festival
Saturday 4 October, 11:00–17:00
London Good News Church, Westminster Road, W7 3TU
FREE – ticket required

“Can’t travel to Korea? Experience the taste, culture, and fun of Korea right here!

Delicious Korean Food: Taste authentic favourites like bulgogi, tteokbokki, and kimbap.

K-Pop Demon Hunters Booth: Come and experience the latest Korean phenomenon through facepainting, keychains and handmade bracelets!

Korean Cultural Experiences: Step into tradition by trying on beautiful hanbok and experiencing cultural activities.

Traditional Korean Games: Try your hand at classic games (yes, the ones you’ve seen on Squid Game – minus the drama!).”