🎰 14 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (25–26 October)

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Hey DILFs!

As you’ll soon find out, there’s an unforced theme to this newsletter: events hanging by the most tenuous of threads. A Hello Kitty Afternoon Tea because sumo is happening next door. An 80s pop disco because… Halloween, apparently. But the most ridiculous of all has to be whatever they’ve cooked up for Little Visitors at Van Gogh House this Sunday.

Their vision for these family days is for artists to “contribute to the ever-growing history of the house”. Last time we went, the activity was to make bath bombs in the shape of marine animals. It was a great morning, don’t get me wrong – but if there was a link to Van Gogh, it was never explained. Maybe if he’d had more relaxing baths he’d have kept both ears? Or perhaps it was meant as a tribute to his turbulent emotions – because nothing quite says “inner turmoil” like a whale fizzing itself to bits in lavender oil?

I have no idea. And the bath bomb disintegrated in our hands before we’d even launched it into the tub. Nevertheless, the experience itself was jolly fun, and it was also a good excuse to nose around the South London boarding house where young Vinnie lodged for a year in the 1870s. You should go too if you like your family activities with a side order of mystery, or if you just fancy seeing where Van Gogh once hung his hat.

And now let’s dive into what else this week has in store…

Enjoy!

Jeff xx

1: Enjoy a still life exhibition that swaps apples and grapes for gum balls and layer cake

Wayne Thiebaud. American Still Life
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (and daily until 18 January)
Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 0RN
Adults £18, under-19s free

Hotdogs, lemon meringue pies, gumball dispensers, deli counters, ice cream sundaes… THESE are still life paintings I can get behind. And unlike Cézanne’s apples, Chardin’s strawberries or Caravaggio’s half-a-harvest show-off spreads, the only fruit you’ll see is spinning past on the reels of a painted slot machine.

Wayne Thiebaud was all about choosing commonplace consumer goods and treating them with warmth and nostalgia in his paintings. Unlike Warhol and Lichtenstein, who used similar objects to critique mass production and consumer culture, Thiebaud’s work was affectionate: he painted these things because he actually liked them.

He also appreciated what the objects represented: an “American ethos” of optimism, abundance and indulgence. That’s basically the opposite of how most artists ever have seen the world – which makes him feel refreshingly original, even if you don’t buy into the dream of endless pie.

He had the painterly chops to match the subject matter, too: thick, chunky paint so cakes looked iced and devour-worthy; pies and hot dogs painted to make the most ardent of vegetarians drool; colours bold enough to make a gumball look important.. As the Guardian put it: “You’re not allowed to lick paintings in museums, which is cruel when you’re faced with something as mouthwateringly tempting as Wayne Thiebaud’s art.”

And really, that’s the pleasure of it: pictures that don’t demand hours of tortured interpretation – they’re just bright, funny, and great to look at.

Find out more: https://courtauld.ac.uk/whats-on/exh-wayne-thiebaud-american-still-life/

While you’re there…

👍️ How often do you think about Estelle’s American Boy or Ms Dynamite’s Dy-Na-Mi-Tee? The only correct answer is: very damn often. So you’ll be pleased to know they turn up in a new exhibition at Somerset House. Jennie Baptiste: Rhythm & Roots traces three decades of Black British youth culture through Baptiste’s lens – and alongside those two icons you’ll also see hip hop DJs, Brixton kids in the 90s, Roots Manuva, NAS, and an absurd level of cool.

2: Devour a themed Afternoon Tea where the theme is… confused

Hello Kitty Afternoon Tea
Saturday 25 October, 13:00–15:00 (choose a time slot) and Monday–Saturday until 31 October)
Coda Restaurant, Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2A
Adults £57, under-12s £32

“Shit. We need some kind of themed menu to tie in with the Grand Sumo Tournament this month. Something big, sweaty, full-on body contact… you know, primal instincts and all that.”

“Ooh, I know. How about a Hello Kitty Afternoon Tea?”

“… Sorry, what?”

“They’re both Japanese. Sumo and Hello Kitty. Same difference.”

“Right… but will the food at least be Japanese? Sushi instead of sandwiches or something?”

“Why would we do that? Sumo wrestlers don’t eat sushi. It’s that stew stuff – chanko nabe, isn’t it? Huge vats of it to put the weight on.”

“Yeah, but at least sushi is Japanese.”

“Nah. Trust me: you want cucumber sandwiches, scones… the usual. And unlike the sumo – which has been sold out for ages and costs a fortune – this you can actually book. We could throw in a kids’ version as well – cheddar and ham sandwiches, hot chocolate, a mountain of cake.”

“Tokyo on a plate.”

“Ha ha haaaa. But come on – the kids would lose it if you gave them a matcha latte instead of a hot chocolate with marshmallows.”

“So just to clarify… what you’re saying is that this Afternoon Tea makes zero sense as a tie-in.”

“Exactly. The tie-in doesn’t matter – it just helps us sell more cake.”

Find out more: https://www.royalalberthall.com/visit/food-and-drink/hello-kitty-afternoon-tea

While you’re there…

👍️ Take a stroll over to the Albert Memorial in Kensington Gardens – Queen Victoria’s vast, glittering tribute to her late husband. Albert died in 1861, and she responded by commissioning a 176-foot Gothic shrine in his honour. Inside sits a 14-foot golden Albert, looking very pleased with himself and clutching the catalogue from his big achievement: the Great Exhibition of 1851.

The whole thing is absurdly over the top: marble, mosaics, gilt, and giant sculptures at the base to represent each continent. There are also allegories of agriculture, commerce, engineering and the arts – the areas Albert championed as Britain’s ticket to progress.

It’s worth circling the whole thing: you’ll spot more than 160 figures of “the greats” – Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Homer – cultural bigwigs who Albert wanted Britain to stand alongside.

3: Celebrate Halloween with a party that mixes Thriller-era tunes and pumpkin face paint in equal measure

POP-KID Halloween party at Somerset House
Sunday 26 October, 11:00-14:00
Setlist, River Terrace, Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA
Adults £12, children £7
Age guidance: suitable for all

I’m beginning to think October marks the start of idea exhaustion: everyone’s run out of reasons for events to exist, so they just mash things together and hope it sells. For example: a Hello Kitty Afternoon Tea to celebrate the Grand Sumo Tournament (see earlier).

And you know what? That’s probably fine. Maybe we don’t need carefully thought-out themes in our lives – maybe sometimes “Sounds enjoyable” is enough. Which brings us to this: an 80s-flavoured Halloween family disco. Is anyone really sitting it out because “Halloween and 80s music aren’t historically linked”? No. You’ll go because you like 80s tunes, and your kids like dressing up.

It isn’t just music and costumes, of course – because you can’t charge £12 a head for two bullet points (especially when one of them is your responsibility). So you also get:

• Mascots, games and prizes for the kids

• Food and drinks from “top chefs” for the adults (and presumably the children, if they’re quick enough)

• Trick-or-treat rounds

• Glow sticks on the dance floor

• Face painting (obviously)

• Dance-offs

One piece of advice: guard the glow sticks. They disappear faster than Do the Conga clears the dads from the dancefloor, and when they do, the tears will flow. Keep a couple stashed in your pocket too – some opportunistic little goblin will swipe your kid’s, and unless you fancy a public row with their parents, the easiest move is to produce a spare and make your loved ones realise you're a superhero.

Find out more: https://fever.pxf.io/55rvqj

While you’re there…

👍️ Visit Jennie Baptiste: or Wayne Thiebaud’s latest exhibitions. (See earlier for more info.)

4: Enjoy one ticket that buys you both an 18th-century court concert and a 1960s jam session

Baroque & Roll Weekend
Saturday and Sunday, 13:00–16:00
Handel Hendrix House, 25 Brook Street, W1K 4HB
Free with admission (adults £14.50, 13–17 £5, under-13s free)
Age guidance: suitable for all

Did you know that royal court composer George Frideric Handel and psychedelic rock dude Jimi Hendrix lived in adjoining buildings on Brook Street? Handel was at #25, Hendrix in a flat at #23 – and if you immediately wondered “At the same time???”, I’m glad I’m not the only one with a shaky grip on history.

In 2016 the two buildings were combined into Handel Hendrix House – a museum that lets you step from baroque London into swinging ’60s London in the space of a corridor.

The Handel section has been restored to look as it did in the 18th century, with rooms including his rehearsal space (complete with a playable harpsichord), the bedroom where he died, and the kitchen and dining room. There are also original manuscripts, personal items, and early editions of his work throughout.

Hendrix’s flat has also been recreated to match how it looked during his time there (1968–69) – and according to his former girlfriend, it’s spot on. Alongside his giant record collection and some great audio and video clips, there’s also an excellent exhibition on Hendrix’s place in the music and culture of 1960s London.

You can visit and experience all this at any time, but the reason you should go THIS weekend is because they’re having a “Baroque & Roll Weekend”. Honestly, it’s worth a visit for the name alone.

From 13:00 to 15:00, it’s Baroque: musicians will perform music by Handel and his contemporaries in Handel’s very own dining room – where so many famous musicians rehearsed for his operas back in the 1700s.

Then between 14:00 and 16:00, it’s a total vibe shift. In Jimi’s own flat, you’ll see and hear guitarists fill the rooms with the kind of music he and his friends played while he lived there. It’s less a performance and more like stepping into Jimi’s flat on a good day: guitars going, records spinning and neighbours no doubt knocking on the wall and yelling at everyone to shut up.

The event is included in general admission – which feels like a bit of a bargain when you’re getting both a baroque recital and a Hendrix jam session in the same afternoon.

Find out more: https://handelhendrix.org/events/live-music

While you’re there…

👍️ The Twist Museum is 0.3 miles away. It’s basically a “museum of illusions” and it’s jolly good fun (albeit overpriced) for all ages.

👍️ South Molten Street is a quaint little pedestrianised street south of Oxford Street (next to the Bond Street Elizabeth Line station). If you like coffee, cake, and the kinds of boutique clothing stores that give you structured cardboard bags with rope handles for your purchases, this is the place to go.

👍️ The NOW Building at Outernet by Tottenham Court Road tube station has four-storey wraparound screens that are visible from the street (although the idea is that you walk into the space and take a seat on one of the benches). The shows change constantly, so check out Outernet’s Instagram page for what’s on now (and some incredible videos).

👍️ I've never been to the Cinema at Selfridges, but I'm trying to rectify that ASAP. It looks GLORIOUS: properly intimate (with just a few rows of seats per screen), incredibly comfortable, and way too classy for children. They frequently show films aimed at youngsters, so I’m assuming they’re welcome for some reason. Films and times weren’t available at the time of writing, but check the listings – you might be able to work a movie into your trip.

👍️ On Sunday, head to the HDIF Family Disco (Halloween special) for a totally different type of music. See below for more information.

5: Create live sound effects to Catbus and forest spirits

Enchanted Cinema: My Neighbour Totoro
Saturday 25 October, 11:30 and 14:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
£11 per person
Age guidance: 4+

My Neighbour Totoro is often described as one of the gentlest films ever made – so gentle that the most violent act in the entire thing is someone opening an umbrella. There are no villains, no battles, no explosions: just two sisters, a giant forest spirit and a bus that’s also a cat. And it’s held kids spellbound for nearly 40 years.

That gentleness may be less obvious here, when the film is accompanied by an audience of children let loose on instruments. Enchanted Cinema turns you into the orchestra: you start with a warm-up using hands and voices, before graduating to turtle drums, lyre harps, zaphir chimes, ocarinas, bird flutes and gongs to add live sound effects and music to five key scenes. I’m hoping one of the scenes will be when we first see the Catbus – partly because it’s iconic, but mostly because I want to hear what a roomful of children think a 12-legged cat with headlights sounds like.

One final note from the organisers: “Please keep all phones in bags.” Presumably they’ve seen what happens when a maraca meets an iPhone screen.

Find out more: https://www.woolwich.works/events/enchanted-cinema-my-neighbour-totoro

6–14: More x9!

Children’s Alice in Wonderland Adventure Tour
Saturday 25 October, 12:30 (and daily, at various times, until 31 October)
Royal Opera House, Bow Street, WC2E 9DD
Adults £20, children £30
Age guidance: 5+

“On this 75-minute live and immersive experience at the Royal Opera House, children and their families join a professional children’s workshop facilitator and actor as they dive into the magical world of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Follow Alice's curious journey from chasing the White Rabbit to discovering magical potions and attending a tap-dancing tea party. Handle real ballet shoes and costumes, and peek through rehearsal studio windows to catch a glimpse of The Royal Ballet preparing for performance. Explore backstage areas usually off-limits to the public and cross the iconic 'Bridge of Aspiration'.

To extend your family’s adventure, each child’s ticket now includes:

• A delicious lunch box, ready to collect from our café. Stay for up to an hour in the dedicated family area in the Linbury Foyer, reserved especially for this tour.

• A bespoke gift created by Eat Sleep Doodle, worth £18 and featuring scenes from Alice’s story to colour using included fabric pens. It’s an imaginative activity to enjoy whilst you eat your lunch on site or to take home.”

HDIF Family Disco: Halloween Party
Sunday 26 October, 12:00–16:00
The Phoenix, 37 Cavendish Square, W1G 0PP 
Adults £7.70, children £3.30
Age guidance: suitable for all

“We play our usual mixture of indie pop and soul, and the discos are a wonderful opportunity for kids to bop around to Belle & Sebastian, Allo Darlin', Ramones, Pixies and more, and for their parents to bop along with them. It can often be hard to get out to club nights once you become a parent, so these discos are as much a chance for the parents to go out dancing as they are for the kids. We also want to provide an alternative to the many rave-themed kids discos that are on offer in London. If you'd rather dance to your favourite indie pop and Motown songs with your children, then we're the disco for you!

Music will be played at a reasonable level. We'll make sure that the songs aren't played too loud, but if you're worried about volume please do bring along ear defenders for your kids.

Everyone is welcome at our kids discos - children, parents and family friends - but we follow similar rules to Coram's Fields - so no admission for adults unless they are accompanied by a child.”

Well Done, Mummy Penguin
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00 and 14:00 (and also 1 and 2 November, 11:00 and 14:00)
Polka Theatre, 240 The Broadway, SW19 1SB
£10–£20, depending on seating
Age guidance: 3–7

“Amidst the snowy Antarctic landscape, Mummy Penguin is off to find a fishy dinner for her family. Daddy and Little Penguin watch in suspense as Mummy swims through the icy waters, climbs the perilous cliffs and tiptoes past some grumpy, just-awakened seals. Can she do it? Well done, Mummy Penguin!

With a nod to the fascinating nature of penguin parenting, Well Done, Mummy Penguin is a stage adaptation of the latest picture book from award-winning writer and illustrator Chris Haughton, and an irresistible ode to family bonds and incredible parents everywhere.”

A Squash and a Squeeze
Saturday and Sunday, 10:30 and 13:30
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£15 per person
Age guidance: 3+

“Once upon a time, a little old lady lived all by herself in her cosy cottage, but she wasn’t happy – her house felt just too small. Whatever could she do? Will the wise old man’s solution of bringing in a flappy, scratchy, greedy, noisy crowd of farmyard animals work?

Join us for this heart warming and hilarious adventure, full of beautiful puppets and enchanting songs. Written and illustrated by the unparalleled picture book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler, and adapted for the stage by Olivier-nominated duo Barb Jungr and Samantha Lane.”

Grandad Anansi
Sunday 26 October, 11:00 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£13.75 per person
Age guidance: 4–9

“Abi and her Grandad tell each other Anansi folktales. They play games and share secrets as they work together in the garden. Grandad is as smart and mischievous as the wily Anansi legend, a part human, part spider and the subject of many West African and Caribbean folk stories. Can he find a way to tell his granddaughter about his plans to return to Jamaica, his beloved homeland?

Join our intrepid characters as they step into the unexpected in this humorous and heartfelt inter-generational adventure. With captivating songs and joyous dancing, Grandad Anansi is an uplifting tale of love, courage and letting go that celebrates storytelling and shines a light on Jamaican culture and the Windrush generation.”

Poetry @ Omnibus: Off The Chest 6th Bday Special
Sunday 26 October, 15:00
Omnibus Theatre, 1 Clapham Common Northside, SW4 0QW
£11 per person

“This is a big one! Join poetry powerhouse Off The Chest for an extra special edition of Poetry @ Omnibus for a day of poetry, to celebrate a momentous 6 years of creating spaces for poetry.

Two-time national slam champion Maureen Onwunali will be headlining the event, plus a feature from competition winner and rising star Milicent. And if that wasn’t enough, special guests from Off The Chest’s back catalogue will be making an appearance – to be announced on their Instagram very soon.

As always, the event promises an open mic, which you can sign up for on the day. There will be a chance to meet the poets and other writers over a slice of birthday cake in the car afterwards.”

The Sleep Show
Saturday 25 October, 11:00 and 14:00
Half Moon Young People’s Theatre, 43 White Horse Road, London E1 0ND
£9 per person
Age guidance: 4+

“The Sleep Show is a captivating performance which transforms the mysteries of sleep into a playful adventure. The show softly explores the challenges children face around bedtime, turning the often daunting experience into one of fun and discovery.

Through imaginative storytelling and beautiful choreography, the production offers fresh perspectives on sleep, encouraging meaningful conversations between parents and children about the importance of a good night’s rest.”

Family Fun Day: Magic and Illusions
Saturday 25 October, 11:00–16:00 (drop in any time)
The Royal Institution of Great Britain, 21 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BS
Adults £16, children £10
Age guidance: 6–12

“Join us for a mind-bending day of magic, mystery and marvels as we explore the science behind the sorcery. Discover how different illusions trick your brain and some of the science that makes magic possible.

You'll explore activities and demonstrations throughout the building, and have the chance to learn some of your very own magic tricks to amaze your friends and family.

In the theatre, we have a magical show - Surprising Science with Matt Pritchard at 12.00pm, 1.30pm and 3.00pm.

The Surprising Science show is packed with science tricks, stunts, puzzles and optical illusions. Dr Matt will challenge you to discover the sneaky scientific secrets behind the magic. This is not just an awe & wonder show but one that encourages scientific enquiry and creativity. Along the way you will be taught a host of science tricks using everyday household objects that you can go away and try later.

Prepare to have your minds blown!”

Family Workshops - Mischievous Monsters
Saturday 25 October, 11:00 and 12:30
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
£9.50 per person
Age guidance: 5–8

“Our mischievous monsters are ready for some fun-filled making! Get ready for this fantastic Family Workshop and make your very own glove puppet, expect ears, baby horns and goofy grins. Our colourful furry friends are a great addition to the Halloween mystery, your very own puppet companion on your trick or treat adventures.”