⛰️ 11 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (28–29 June)

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Hey DILFs!

You know how some public art is just a traffic cone in a wig? This thing I’m about to tell you about is not that.

The Herds is a sprawling, madly ambitious climate art project involving life-sized animal puppets travelling 20,000km from the Congo Basin to the Arctic Circle – not metaphorically, but actually. The whole journey is being documented, and in one video (please watch it! It’s only 16 seconds) you can watch the puppets still being operated as they leave Morocco by boat. It’s part climate warning, part beautifully bonkers fever dream.

This weekend, The Herds stampede into Stratford at around 15:00. In a piece called Sisyphus, dancers will try to stop the animals from moving forward – literally blocking their path through Westfield and into Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. It’s billed as “hoof to arm, horns to head”, which is possibly the most high-stakes thing to happen near Pret in living memory.

If you can’t make it east, there are plenty of other Herds events across London this weekend: theherds.org/events. 

Too crazy? Here are a few, slightly less unhinged things you could do with your weekend. 

Enjoy!

Jeff xx

1: Experience orchestral surround-sound the literal way

Paraorchestra: The Virtuous Circle
Sunday 29 June, 16:30 and 20:30
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£17 per person (plus £3.50 booking fee)
Age guidance: 7+

I don’t normally give much thought to other couples’ sex lives or fertility journeys, but it’s times like this that I wonder (through gritted teeth): what makes everyone so aroused and/or broody every September/October? The number of summer babies is astonishing, and it’s ruining my ability to see shows like this because there are literally four children’s birthday parties to attend each weekend.

If you’re not going to a waterpark for Amelia’s 8th or an adventure playground for Muhammad’s 11th this Saturday, I implore you to at least watch the trailer for this show – it’s mesmerising, and might just bump this to the top of your weekend list. 

Paraorchestra is a completely different way to experience an orchestral performance – one in which the musicians are on the floor rather than the stage, positioned around the unseated audience so you can hear everything in surround-sound. You get to walk among the performers as they play Mozart’s Symphony No. 40, which is already quite the experience – even before the contemporary dancers turn up and start twisting themselves into shapes that make your back hurt just watching.

It all looks thrilling. Just one word of advice: don’t dress in white. You’ll be mistaken for one of the performers, who’ve gone full organic bed linen. And frankly, they’ll wear it better. 

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/paraorchestra-the-virtuous-circle/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ There’s a pub nearby called Vaulty Towers (groan but smile reluctantly), which doubles up as a sort of retirement home for theatre paraphernalia. 

After a production has finished its run, stage props, puppets, pieces of set and scenery, costumes and lighting make their way to the pub and become part of the interior decor. You might find yourself sitting inside a treehouse, a ridiculously high bar stool, a huge crescent moon, and so on. Everything is swapped out every six months or so, and even the crazy exterior gets repainted frequently. 

There are comedy nights, live music, life drawing, and a weekly quiz that isn’t for wusses: it involves “lunges, punishments, liquid rewards, trivial trivia, dance-offs, lip-sync battles, jackpots” and “weird bits”. 

2: Browse affordable art (and bring the kids)

Woolwich Contemporary Print Fair: Summer Edition
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
Adults £13.20, under-16s free

I bloody love the Royal Academy’s annual Summer Exhibition. I won’t explain the whole gist to you now because this is about a different exhibition, but the relevant info for now is that you can buy most of the artwork on display.  

The problem with the Summer Exhibition is that its art is, as JP Morgan might say, “for people who don’t need to ask the price”. And while I’m sure it’s all worth every penny, I’m not actually sure of that at all. There are, admittedly, a few vaguely affordable pieces on offer, but they’re immediately snapped up by RA members and patrons who get early access. 

(Not relevant but: does anyone else think I sound like a pretentious knobend when I say “pieces”? I don’t think I’ll use that word again.)

Compared to the Summer Exhibition, the Woolwich Contemporary Print Fair feels a bit like opening a window in a stuffy room. Here’s a side-by-side comparison of the most important aspects: 

*This factor is irrelevant, but people need to see how bad the Woolwich Print Fair’s page is.  

The Woolwich one is definitely a more laid-back affair, and children are welcomed rather than feared. (Fair enough for the RA. When two young boys are yelling “Chicken Jockey!!!” while looking around for a suitable sculpture to play the role of “chicken”, I can understand why they wouldn’t trust the parents to step in at the right moment.)

You’ll also have the chance to meet and buy work directly from some of the artists, who’ll be there in person to describe how a screenprint of a hairdryer represents generational anxiety, or why six identical red dots on a page are a comment on late-stage capitalism.

Find out more: https://www.woolwich.works/events/wcpf-summer-edition-2025 

While you’re there… 

👍️The Royal Arsenal has been around since the late 1600s, as the place where armaments and ammunition were manufactured for the British Armed Forces. These days, however, it’s all green open spaces, creative places, and restaurants, cafes and bars.

👍️ Maryon Wilson Animal Park is a happy home to ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, pigs, ponies and deer. It's found inside Maryon Wilson Park – a beautiful wooded area with streams and open grassland and all the idyllic things you miss about the countryside (until you remember that the countryside is mostly boring). It’s about a 15-minute drive or 20-minute bus ride from Woolwich Works. 

3: Show your children what calm looks like on paper

Hiroshige: artist of the open road
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00 (and daily until 7 September)
British Museum, Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG
Adults £20, under-16s free 

This exhibition has been on for a while, but I never mentioned it because I assumed most kids would rather eat a shoe than look at 19th-century Japanese prints. But last Saturday I took my boys for reasons that had nothing to do with artistic curiosity: London was boiling hot, I didn’t want to get on a bus because buses in June are basically mobile ovens, and all the free general admission tickets had been snapped up. So I paid actual money to see Hiroshige, purely as a way of getting into the darn museum.

I thought I’d already used up all my luck by finding a place in London where we wouldn’t melt… but then it turned out the exhibition was FANTASTIC.

Hiroshige was an artist from the time before Tokyo was Tokyo. Back in the early 1800s, it was Edo – a city of bridges, blossom and people just trying to get from one side of the river to the other without falling in. And no one captured it quite like Hiroshige – who came from a samurai family but gave up all that warrior business in favour of woodblock printing.

The British Museum show (the first on him in London in over 25 years) is full of his quietly dazzling prints: snowy rooftops, shady tea gardens, families having a nice time under suspiciously symmetrical trees. The colours are unreal – like someone turned up the saturation on actual weather.

The method Hiroshige used – woodblock printing – involved carving designs into wood, layering them with ink, and pressing them onto paper. Because the blocks could be reused, these weren’t one-off paintings – they were sold cheaply and collected widely. The exhibition includes short videos showing how it works, in case your child asks and all you’ve got is “Ink… and… wood?”

His pictures aren’t shouty, gruecome or shocking: they just calmly insist that walking by a river in light drizzle is an excellent use of your time. It’s the sort of attitude the French Impressionists saw and thought: “Oh, that’s allowed?” and then completely adopted in their own work. 

So. Come for the a/c. Then stay for the small, steady brilliance of someone who found peace and happiness in a road bend. 

Find out more: https://www.britishmuseum.org/exhibitions/hiroshige-artist-open-road 

While you’re there… 

👍️ You’re close to two historical and beautiful squares in London. The Bloomsbury Squares website provides lots of background (and information relating to cafes, events, etc.) about Bloomsbury Square and Russell Square. 

4: Do some yoga, then watch a cat survive the apocalypse

Family Film Club: Flow (U) + Pre-Film Yoga
Saturday 28 June, 11:00
Barbican Centre, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS
Adults £5, under-18s £2.50
Age guidance: film 6+, yoga 5–8

I remember when Flow was first in the cinema earlier this year, because my kids’ babysitter recommended it as a charming, heart-warming story that was suitable for all ages. It sounded marvellous… but A Minecraft Movie had just come out, so naturally, we went with the one that had square-headed villagers and Jason Momoa in a pink jacket.

By the time we’d seen A Minecraft Movie again and suffered through a bunch of Minecraft-themed playdates where Lava Chicken was YouTubed on repeat, Flow had departed the big screen and we’d all forgotten about it.  

So a big thank you goes to the Barbican for giving it another outing – and at a time when your only other option is Lilo & Stitch (again). And, bonus: there’s a pre-film family yoga session (“find your flow before our screening of Flow”), which is free to all ticket-holders.

To be clear, though, Flow is not about yoga; that’s just the Barbican being thematic. It’s an Oscar-winning animation about a cat who survives the end of the world by sailing around on a little boat with a dog, a capybara, a lemur and a bird – none of whom seem particularly qualified for flood navigation. 

There’s no dialogue. It’s mostly long silences, meaningful glances and the occasional tragic paddle – which is all more compelling than it sounds. And despite the quiet, plenty happens: they face storms, lose each other, find each other again and eventually wash up on dry land. It’s not quite a happy ending ​​– the film’s too tasteful for that – but it’s close.

Find out more: https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2025/event/family-film-club-flow-pre-film-yoga-at-9-45am 

5: Taste your way through Britain’s strangest shopping list

The Ice Cream Project by Anya Hindmarch
Saturday 10:00–18:00 and Sunday 12:00–17:00 (plus other dates until 16 August)
The Ice Cream Project, 11 Pont Street, SW1X 9EH
Scoops £4.50 each

Anya Hindmarch is, as far as I’m aware, famous for two things. The first is the “I'm NOT A Plastic Bag” canvas tote, launched in 2007 and seen on the shoulders of basically everyone – even though it was meant to be a limited-edition thing. And the second is the pop-up ice cream parlour that appears every summer in London, selling mind-boggling and slightly retch-worthy ice cream flavours. 

I don’t know if either of these endeavours have resulted in more handbag sales for her actual day job as an accessories designer, but I do find it slightly baffling that her career now seems to hinge on £5 bags and baked bean gelato. Is it selling out? Is it savvy entrepreneurship? Is it just a bit of fun? No clue. Is the ice cream any good, or just good for TikTok? Again, no clue – but I’d love for you to find out and report back.

Flavours include (and remember: this is ice cream we’re talking about here) Ovaltine, Bisto, Irn Bru, Maldon Sea Salt, Twiglets, Quaker Porridge Oats, Bird’s Custard, and Filippo Berio Olive Oil. There are some ever-so-slightly more normal options (like Rowse Honey and McVitie’s Club Orange), but if you’re going to be boring, you may as well save yourself the £4.50 scoop (or £16 tub) and grab a Cornetto from the local Waitrose. Or don’t go at all – unless, of course, your child is desperate to film themselves doing the Piki Piki dance challenge with their scoop of pickled onion flavour.

If, on the other hand, you want to go all in on this ice cream thing, book yourself an Afternoon Tea with a twist: a blind tasting of 15 scoops with wafers and sprinkles, guessing the flavours as you go with your own tasting score card. 

As for the “selling-out vs savvy entrepreneurship” debate… you can get her McVitie’s Club Orange tote bag for the bargain price of £455 right now (down from £650). I’m still not sure if it’s selling out, but at £455 a pop, someone’s definitely cashing in.

Find out more: https://www.anyahindmarch.com/pages/the-ice-cream-project 

While you’re there… 

👍️ After you’ve “enjoyed” your Kendal Mint Cake ice cream, head to The Star Tavern in Belgravia – a quiet-looking pub that once served as HQ for the Great Train Robbery, the Profumo affair, and various other shenanigans. 

In the 50s and 60s it was run by Paddy Kennedy – a landlord known for swearing at patrons, hurling out the unwelcome, and somehow attracting people like Princess Margaret, Bing Crosby and Lucian Freud... as well as professional safe-blowers.

Upstairs, in what’s now the not-so-secret bar, a gang of thieves plotted how to hijack a Royal Mail train and make off with £2.6 million – still one of the biggest heists in British history.

The carpets are cleaner now and the Maharaja of Baroda is no longer buying rounds, but it’s still worth a visit.

There are more events below the ad – so keep scrolling!

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6–11: More more more! 

Comedy Club 4 Kids
Sunday 29 June, 15:00
Park Theatre, Clifton Terrace, N4 3JP
£15 per person
Age guidance: 6+

Hands on Armour: Mighty Mirrors
Saturday 28 June, 13:30–16:00
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE (places are limited and allocated first-come, first-served on the day)
Age guidance: 5+

Next Generation Festival: Zoonation Youth Company (hip hop)
Sunday 29 June, 13:00 and 16:00
Royal Opera House, Bow Street, WC2E 9DD
£3–£20 (last few tickets remaining)
Age guidance: suitable for all 

Duck Pond Market at Pitzhanger Manor & Gallery
Sunday 29 June, 10:00–15:00
Pitzhanger Manor & Gallery, Ealing Green, W5 5EQ
FREE

Summer by the River: Re:Dance
Saturday 28 June, 12:00–21:00
The Scoop at More, SE1 2AA
FREE

Moons Beyond Counting
Saturday and Sunday, 14:30
Adults £12, under-16s £6
Royal Observatory, Blackheath Avenue, SE10 8XJ
Age guidance: 7+ (under-5s won’t be allowed in)